My great friend Nikki has died. It was inevitable since that diagnosis in 2016 that she had incurable breast cancer. But that doesn’t make it less painful when it finally happens – especially at such a young age of 44.
I met Nikki when she was 18. She was a Young National and I worked in the Prime Minister’s Office. I offered her some advice about a remit she was moving in favour of lowering the drinking age and she listened and rejected my advice. This was a foreshadowing of our relationship going forward – Nikki asking my advice, ignoring it, and following her gut instinct regardless!
After she left Otago with her BSc in Genetics she joined the National Party’s research unit and became a colleague and close friend. Somewhere along the way, we became best friends. I stayed with her when visiting London, we travelled to International Young Democrat Union events together, we holidayed together and even did Vegas together.
In 2008 she decided to move back to NZ and stand for National. Myself and others advised her that she had no chance to win the nomination for Auckland Central against the incumbent candidate (a list MP) yet alone win the seat off (Labour’s) Judith Tizard. We said she should seek the nomination for the more winnable Rotorua.
She ignored the advice, and not just won the nomination for Auckland Central but won the seat, breaking a 90-year-hold Left-wing parties had on it. She then went on to hold the seat twice against a Labour MP some people may have heard of called Jacinda Ardern.
Despite crossing the floor in her first year as an MP to oppose mining on Great Barrier Island, she became a Minister after just four years in Parliament and ended up Minister of Education. In Opposition, she became deputy leader to Todd Muller.
People tend to think that personal ambition is what drives people to seek out leadership roles, and some attributed that to Nikki. They could perhaps reflect that in 2020 she knew she had incurable stage 4 cancer and her time was limited. Her taking up the role of deputy was out of a strong desire to serve the party.
All of Nikki’s friends have numerous stories we love to share with each other – from her manic running around Parliament as a staffer, to her ability to lose swipe cards and even credit cards on such a regular basis. I once had to transfer money through Western Union to her in Sydney as she had lost all her cards and was in a dress shop with no ability to pay! There was also the time we went to a Sydney nightclub and of course Nikki had lost her ID. We only managed to get in by showing the bouncers her page on the parliamentary website.
Nikki had severe arachnophobia.
She could not manage being within 10 metres of even a daddy long legs or even a plastic spider (which somehow would sometimes appear above her desk). I managed to convince her to come to a premiere of Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King with me, neglecting to mention Shelob. She almost killed me for that one.
Nikki Kaye, pictured at a meeting in February 2016.
Nikki claimed to have saved my life on a couple of occasions.
One relates to when we were holidaying at Moorea. I had been swimming the day before and it was beautiful. Nikki turned up the next day and I convinced her to come swimming. I went to the end of the wharf (the day before I swam from the shore) and prepared to dive in. Nikki was hesitant as she said she was worried about sharks. I told her I swam the day before and saw no sharks. She was still unpersuaded, and so I told her that there was a reef around the beach, and I doubt any sharks could get through it. She was still unconvinced.
At this stage, I started to get annoyed (a common occurrence when dealing with Nikki!) and told her she was paranoid and that by chance I had just been reading Superfreakonomics which had a chapter on how everyone overestimates shark attacks.
I quoted the data which said there are only four fatal shark attacks a year and you are twice as likely to die from a vending machine falling on you than from a shark attack. Nikki remained obstinate, so I gave up and dived into the water off the wharf. It was beautiful, with a hot spring there. I was in paradise, enjoying the water and then Nikki yelled out that there was a shark behind me. I laughed, as I am not that gullible. I told her nice try, but I’m not stupid.
She yelled again “No, seriously there is a shark behind you”. I thought quickly that Nikki isn’t really the type to do practical jokes (unlike me, who absolutely would) so I yelled back “Is this a joke, for if it is I’m going to throw you in the water as revenge”.
Nikki yelled back “DAVID, GET OUT NOW” My adrenaline kicked in to maximum, and I swam as fast as I could back to the wharf. I pulled myself up with my heart racing, and looked around the wharf for a shark.
After around 20 seconds I couldn’t see one, so I told Nikki I was going to throw her in. Just at the moment a shark swam by. It was about 1.5m long and looked like it could do a fair bit of damage. I exclaimed “Sh*t, you weren’t joking”. Nikki replied “You know I’m not sure that‘s what I saw.”
A few seconds later another shark turned up, then a third and a fourth. The fourth was around 2.5 metres long and Nikki said that was the one she had seen. I gulped.
Since that day, Nikki delighted in telling people she saved my life. I wasn’t convinced they would have eaten me, but to be fair I did mention the sharks to the hotel manager, and he did say that people often throw food to them off the end of the wharf at 5pm (it was 4pm). So considering I was swimming in their dining room at dinner time, who knows!
Nikki Kaye defied her school PE teacher, who never thought she would run – she did many marathons and the Coast to Coast.
Nikki was the most determined person I knew.
I recall when I told her in 2008 that I didn’t think she could win Auckland Central and she retorted that I was just like everyone else who underestimated her, her whole life – her PE teacher who never thought she would run (she did many marathons and the Coast to Coast), the reality TV producers who thought the 17-year-old private schoolgirl would not last on the survival island etc.
Being determined to prove people wrong was a defining characteristic. I could go on and on with stories about Nikki, but I need to save some for the wake.
As an electorate MP, she had a work ethic I have never seen before. She got involved with good causes from one end of the electorate to another and helped tens of thousands of people. I used to hear from the Mayor’s Office that most MPs who met with him would have just one or two items to discuss. Nikki always turned up with 25 or so things she wanted the Mayor to do.
Nikki Kaye in part of the Aotea Conservation Park on Great Barrier Island. Photo / Audrey Young
Great Barrier Island was the true love of her life. Nikki first visited there as a candidate and fell in love with it.
She visited several times as a candidate, despite there being just a few hundred people living there. As the MP she would visit at least once every two to three months (a former MP would visit once every three years) to drive along projects.
She wasn’t doing it for votes (it was 1% of her electorate) but because she saw the ability to make a real difference to the lives of people who lived there. She effectively became a local, and after she left Parliament she built a house over there which was her sanctuary.
I’ll just finish with how unfair it is that she died so young, but I know she died at peace with herself as someone who achieved more in her lifetime than most of us manage in a much longer one.
