Remember that old lady, Brad

By ROSS DAVIS*

I was a boyhood friend of Bradley Butterworth, as he was known then.

I sailed with him after school and all weekend, in P Class and Starlings, and even beat him sometimes. My Starling was called New World because the person I bought it off got some sponsorship from the local supermarket in the days when it was illegal to have sponsors' signs on your boat. I can't remember the name of Bradley's Starling but it had a shark's face on the bow and would try to nibble your rudder.

On Saturday nights, Bradley, John (a friend from South Auckland known as the Otahooligan) and I would cruise around Otahuhu in Bradley's father's V8. Occasionally one of us would jump out, dislodge a letterbox and throw it onto the front lawn.

We thought that was gutsy and cool - and funny for the little old lady who woke the next day to find her letterbox had gone walkabout in the night.

I haven't seen much of Bradley lately but I've paid attention to what he's said through three America's Cups and thought about what we owe that little old lady.

The image I remember from when we won the cup was the bit of masking-tape wrapped around the boom right in front of the onboard camera with the hand-written words "it's a girl".

"It" was Bradley's first child and to have the team celebrate and announce it to New Zealand and the world seemed to me to epitomise something of that win and team. Clued-up New Zealand sailors with a sense of fun and a wider perspective on things. Can you imagine that happening on professional Alinghi?

The words that have stayed in my mind from the successful defence were when Brad was coming into the Viaduct Basin after winning a race. He quipped: "I wish I had shares in one of these bars."

Later on the radio he said "we don't get paid as much as All Blacks", and on TV he and Coutts said, "we've got to think of our families".

Many New Zealanders sympathised with that view. Using the language of individual rights, they said "it's his right to be a millionaire" or "it's his right to do what's best for him".

My latest image is from Saturday morning. We were 4-0 down and Brad said "I haven't thought how it would feel taking the cup away from New Zealand yet".

Sadly, not thinking of or feeling for others is too often encouraged in our culture. We value the clever, skilled individualist above the generous collectivist. Bradley is expressing values common these days - self-care over care for others.

We live in a culture of increasing self-care and self-respect. A self-made place. A place where you don't think about the old lady in Otahuhu who, having just replaced her letterbox, bought some red socks, or those who celebrated the birth of your baby with you. A place where "respect" is common in mission statements, but "love" or "sacrifice" are never seen.

If you think that's just semantics, consider this: I'm sure Brad and Russ "respect" those Otahuhu families who bought red socks; they just don't think or feel much about them.

It's less common to teach our kids to go out of their way for others, to see that their skills are corporately owned for the good of all - that would be too close to Communism or Christianity or something. Instead, the individualist attitude that "my skills are mine" wins the day. Our nation's secular religion seems to be "do what you want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else"; but in practice many of us tend not to think too hard about the "anyone else".

We find it easier to be blind to other's needs. As Don McGlashan sang for the Front Lawn, "Please don't wake them up/Leave them sleeping/Sometimes people just want to mess up their lives".

I have been among those disappointed at the defections, but they weren't totally to blame, just as they weren't totally responsible for winning the cup in the first place. They couldn't have defected if this country didn't have such faith in individualism. Equally, they couldn't have won the cup without the rest of New Zealand, from Peter Blake to the little old lady in Otahuhu who donated $10 for red socks.

The problem is that they are not aware of the personal responsibility that goes with the position we gave them on the black boat. They fail to realise that they wouldn't be in a position to be millionaires if not for the support of New Zealanders.

There has been much talk about the cup's impact on our fragile economy, but its impact on our fragile culture is more crucial. We need to acknowledge we are all intrinsically connected in relationship to each other and we should not be afraid to think and care about how others feel.

The really bad news in losing the cup is not the economic loss, but that it might confirm for our children the idea that winning is everything, it's better to follow the bucks, and success comes to those who put themselves ahead of the greater good.

The organisation for which I work has just completed a research project for the Wellington City Council. We found that 69 per cent of 1800 young people in Wellington and the Hutt Valley felt the community did not care for them. Maybe it's because the community is nothing but a group of contracted professionals too busy devoting their time to self-care.

To counter that we need to remember the masking tape of that first campaign. I hope we come to our senses and show that Bradley, Russell, Murray and the others were wrong to think that money is all they need to look after their families.

Now especially, we all need to care about the Butterworth, Coutts and Jones families, not just because we would probably have done the same as them and taken the money, but because they are part of our community and we need to keep some love and forgiveness alive. Bradley and Co may have been blinded by our culture's individualism, but we need to take the advice of the kid who asked his Father "forgive them for they know not what they do".

I look forward to the day where Bradley's girl sails that Starling yacht with the shark jaws on the bow alongside my kids, who are sailing the Starling New World, a name that no longer represents the supermarket but a place where we all think, feel and care about another.

* Ross Davis is director of youth and community projects for the Wellington Boys and Girls Institute, a Christian youth organisation.

nzherald.co.nz/americascup

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