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Survivors of the wreck of the Wahine yesterday told of how close they came to death when the interisland ferry struck rocks and listed on to its side.
Gathered at a wreath-laying ceremony at the Museum of Wellington City and the Sea to mark the 35th anniversary of the disaster, the survivors swapped stories and quietly watched film footage of the ailing ferry being battered by huge seas and strong winds.
"I was bloody lucky," said Paul Dean, who was working as a 27-year-old steward on board the Wahine on April 10, 1968.
He was one of the last to escape the ship in a disaster that claimed 51 lives at the entrance to Wellington Harbour.
As Mr Dean battled huge seas in a lifeboat, John Barnhill, a voluntary ambulance officer, tried to resuscitate victims washing up on a beach.
"It was the first time I had seen a dead body," Mr Barnhill said. "I tried to resuscitate so many of them, but I was only successful with one."
Both men joined a bus trip yesterday afternoon that took them around Wellington's rugged coast to Pencarrow, where they could see the reef that bit into the Wahine's hull.
On the bus relatives of victims and survivors took turns recounting their stories.
For most, the memories were so clear it was like it had happened yesterday.
Mr Dean, now 62, said he knew something was wrong when the ship's galley ordered that no more breakfasts be made.
The storm lashing the ship early in the morning had sent fat flying around the kitchen and it was considered too dangerous to cook.
"I was serving orange juice when all of a sudden she gave an almighty lurch and I got thrown up into the air, from one side to the other. The glasses smashed and cut my hand."
It wasn't until he went to the ship's bridge to find the medical officer that he was told the Wahine had struck rocks.
"It was like a whiteout when I got to the bridge. You couldn't see anything. I turned white and wondered how long we had."
Mr Dean said he made the passengers as comfortable as he could but then the call came to abandon ship and they began to panic, because up until then they had been told that everything would be all right.
"For hours everyone was saying we would be towed into shore. Even the crew were saying that the boat would need repairs and we'd have two or three weeks' holiday.
"But by this time the ship was starting to go over and it wouldn't come back."
Mr Dean was part of a human chain on the high side railing of the Wahine that helped people along. At the end of the chain the passengers would attempt to slide down the deck to escape, but many broke limbs as they did.
"I saw terrible things. I saw bones coming out of skin. It was shocking."
Mr Dean was one of the final handful to get off the ship. As he attempted to wait for the right moment to jump into the giant waves, he slipped, tumbled 10m and fell into the icy sea.
Unable to swim in his bulky lifejacket he developed a paddling technique on his back and began to get away from the Wahine.
"Suddenly I heard someone call 'hey, over here'. Luckily it was lifeboat number two. They got alongside and dragged me in."
The lifeboat had over 100 people and he could hear the screams of children buried in the crowd.
They made it to Seatoun beach and he was bused to the railway station for hot soup.
Yesterday, Mr Dean said he knew he was extremely lucky.
He attended Wahine commemorations every year and visited a memorial to those who died.
The experience did not put him off life at sea - shortly after, he returned to work on the ferries.
NZ's worst maritime disasters
*1. 189 dead: HMS Orpheus, Manukau Bar, February 7, 1863.
*2. 131 dead: Tararua, Waipapa Point, April 29, 1881.
*3. 121 dead: Wairarapa, Great Barrier Island, October 29, 1894.
*4. 79 dead: Fiery Star, Chatham Islands, April 1865.
*5. 75 dead: Penguin, Cook Strait, February 12, 1909.
*6. 68 dead: General Grant, Auckland Islands, May 14, 1866.
*7. 51 dead: Wellington Harbour, Wahine, April 10, 1968.
