Reel life: coming soon to a TV near you

By VERNON SMALL

You may not have seen them, but they have been among us; in our schools, our factories, our hospitals and at our organic fruit stalls. Filming.

And this evening the electronic election campaign comes to a lounge near you with televised opening addresses from Labour, National, the Greens, Act and New Zealand First (7.30pm, TV One).

Twelve minutes each for the big two, and eight minutes for the others. Forty-eight minutes to boil the jug or take a pee for politics. More than an hour if you want to miss the real adverts.

At our expense, they will show their true colours; laughing, working, playing with their families, on the road or meeting the President of the United States.

As you do.

And they will be listening, yes really listening, as people just like us, hand-picked by them, tell them what we want.

Labour will woo you with the humble but powerful leadership of Helen Clark ... in our schools, in our factories, meeting the President of ... you get the picture. Not a fake artwork in sight.

National will show us that Bill English is one of us. A family man but a modest and powerful leader in waiting. Boxing clever, politicking. Not a bad poll in sight.

Get a taste of the future with the Greens, the only party that will not focus on its leaders. GE-free food for all. Not a whiff of cannabis or a treaty policy. See Richard Prebble on Muriwai Beach extolling the virtues of a million-dollar view.

Watch Winston Peters' presidential-style address, one on one.

And if you can't be there tonight, here are a few choice phrases to match with the party of your choice.

* "We want to reward hard work and thrift. We are going to have a bonfire of regulations."

* "You can count on us to live up to our principles."

* "This election is all about who you want to lead New Zealand."

* "Can we fix it? Yes, we can!"

* "I believe in one standard of citizenship for all of us."

* "The time to fix the roof is when the sun's shining."

* Isn't that a pretty clear choice?

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