The woman raped by Liam Reid tells how she is rebuilding her life
KEY POINTS:
"I am not a victim. I am a survivor."
That is how the woman attacked and raped by Liam Reid in Dunedin feels about herself - and it is how she wants others to view her.
One year on, she is still affected by the traumatic event, but every day is a little bit better, she says, and her sense of humour is returning.
"I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I want everyone to know that I'm doing okay and getting on with life."
Reid was yesterday found guilty of raping and murdering Christchurch woman Emma Agnew and raping, sexually violating, robbing and attempting to murder the Dunedin woman nine days later.
Before the verdict, the woman had an emotional meeting with Emma Agnew's family, an experience she described as "very, very positive".
Said Detective Senior Sergeant Steve McGregor: "I think it was wonderful for Louise, Emma's mother, to see someone like her daughter who survived."
On November 24 last year, the former Dunedin student woman was walking home in the early hours when she was dragged into a car park off inner-city Rattray St and subjected to a two-hour ordeal.
She was raped repeatedly, beaten and came close to death.
She was in court yesterday and was "over the moon" at the guilty verdict.
"I'm really happy. The whole family is really stoked."
She said it would have been easier if Reid had pleaded guilty so she would not have had to give evidence, but she appreciated the opportunity to share her story in the courtroom and the chance to stop Reid harming other women.
Now the trial was over, she felt a huge weight had been lifted.
"It's over and now I can think about being a 22-year-old again - being young again."
Life is now moving in the right direction for her. She is living in Australia with her parents and plans to return to university next year.
She said life was so unpredictable and she realised it could be taken away from her any day.
She said she had just been walking home one night, as she had done hundreds of times, "and then, boom, wrong place, wrong time".
She described herself as "on cloud nine" in the days after the attack, because she was so happy to be alive.
The euphoria ended when her family and friends returned to work and she had to snap back to reality.
The first three months were the toughest. She often stayed in bed all day and was afraid to go out alone.
Looking back, she knew she had come a long way.
"Sometimes I have sad days, sometimes I have flashbacks ... but I make sure I talk to someone and try to finish by having a laugh and feeling better.
"There are times you want to throw it all away, but you have to dig really deep within yourself ... You can't let something like this stop you."
She had survived Reid's attack, and there was no point dwelling on the experience because, otherwise, she might as well have died that night.
"I had to make peace with it because if I carried that anger with me it would ruin my life."
The incident was not foremost in her thoughts, but if she did think about it she did not try to stop.
"You have to feel those horrible feelings ... you have to put up with that. You are going to go through it."
Yet, she knows she will never be the same again.
"Being alone is a no-go zone for me now."
She is also more cautious when she goes out at night with friends, carrying a cellphone and money for a taxi.
She was not yet ready to go out with people who did not know what had happened to her, but close friends made sure she was never left alone and that she got home safely when she was ready to leave.
After carrying the weight of her experience for the past year, and building up for the trial, she was glad to finally be able to move on.
"I'm looking forward to next year ... I have my whole life ahead of me."
- OTAGO DAILY TIMES, JARROD BOOKER
