Porridge ... food to fuel a good feud

By AUDREY YOUNG

Some intriguing enmities are developing as the new Parliament settles down, and one of the more interesting is Green co-leader Rod Donald vs Alliance leader Jim Anderton.

Former allies always make the best enemies, and green and red are a volatile mix.

Pitiful polling for the Alliance and daily dollops of sanctimony from the Greens have fostered an ill-will that has simmered for years, and the two have started spitting tacks at each other across the House.

But dispensing with tacks and mud, Mr Donald slung porridge yesterday.

He was speaking in the Budget debate, and it was payback time for Mr Anderton's dig at the Green's "grand-standing" and "self-serving amateur dramatics" over their $15 million budget booty.

It began innocently enough: "I was horrified to learn that Deputy Prime Minister Jim Anderton is promoting a strategic investment grant programme designed to attract overseas firms."

Then came the rub came, designed to associate Mr Anderton with the foreign investment bogy.

Mr Donald lamented that Creamoata, a type of porridge, will no longer be made by Flemings in Gore.

The factory's foreign owner, Goodman Fielder, is closing it and shifting Creamoata to Australia.

"The mill survived two devastating fires and a war but eventually succumbed to foreign control," said Mr Donald.

"Gore and Creamoata have been synonymous for 100 years. The mill is an example of the pioneering spirit, cooperation and marketing savvy which built this nation."

Milk and porridge is the Down Under equivalent of apple pie, and mileage can be made when it is under threat.

Mr Donald offered alternatives for those who don't want Australian porridge - "scotch oats, rolled oats and even organic whole oats."

Mr Anderton had left the House by this stage, so it is not known if the wild oats speech will have any effect on his breakfast habits.

Anderton vs Donald is an emerging rivalry, and a daring one - Mr Anderton owes his position in Government to the Greens' support.

But they have a long way to go to match some of the rivalries on show in Question Time yesterday: Winston Peters vs new Act MP Stephen Franks, Winston Peters vs Act MP Rodney Hide, Winston Peters vs Act MP Muriel Newman and Winston Peters vs Act MP Owen Jennings.

Mr Peters, the New Zealand First leader, first pulled up Mr Hide for calling his former foe Tariana Turia something like "Torania."

Mispronouncing MPs names appears to be an Act political tactic, such is its frequency.

Then he pulled up Muriel Newman for complaining that 122 Winz managers get Koru Club membership when 120 MPs, including her, get Koru Club membership.

Then he pulled up Mr Franks for being Mr Franks.

Then, promoting himself as Mr Jennings' nemesis, he threatened: "I'm going to nail that guy."

At which point Act leader Richard Prebble intervened, seeking the help of the Speaker, Jonathan Hunt.

Mr Hunt put an end to it all with one line: "Somebody did that once 2000 years ago and it didn't work very well then."