Winston Aldworth: A Dunne deal to ruin our summer

United Future Party leader Peter Dunne. Photo / Mark Mitchell

There are two weird seasons going on. Firstly, the skies can’t decide if it’s summer or winter.

There are two weird seasons going on.

Firstly, the skies can't decide if it's summer or winter. As a scrub fire ravaged the outskirts of Christchurch a week or so back, rains better suited to the depths of June scoured the pavements of summertime Auckland.

Secondly, we're entering election season. The weirdest season of them all boosts pointless and desperate wretches such as Peter Dunne - the MP for the electorate of Gullibleville somewhere around Wellington. This year's Dunne deal: he's started an online petition to move New Zealand's summer school holidays away from December and into February.

That's right - Peter Dunne, Minister of Whatever Scraps the Nats Will Let Him Have - wants to move our summer holidays. He reckons there's better weather to be had later in the year.

Take your hands off my holidays, Dunne!

Perhaps the combination of the awful bow tie and the heavily blow-dried quiff have restricted the blood flow to Dunne's brain. Can there be any other rational explanation for Dunne failing to note how much rain there's been in February? So what next? Shift the school holidays into March? Adjust the damned things week by week or year by year, depending on how much global warming has messed with the meteorological systems from one year to the next?

It's almost as if - no! Surely not - Dunne is some sort of irrelevance with little going for him other than an awareness of which major party to toady alongside and a vague sense of urgency for bagging public attention as an election looms.

I hate seeing holidays made part of the political game of those swine in Wellington. The New Zealand summer holiday is a glorious and (mostly) golden thing. Our country's three-month siesta contributes greatly to the national chill that makes this the greatest land of all.

If Dunne seriously wants a holiday season better in keeping with good weather conditions, he might consider backing political parties with meaningful policies on climate change. Otherwise, get back to work, mate.