I'm writing this week's column raw. The emotions are still bubbling; the attempts to rationalise are ongoing.
Over the weekend I had property stolen of some reasonable value, literally a few metres from where I was sleeping.
It's an experience many of you will have had. For me, it's the first time. I've been lucky I guess.
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Lucky, because I've always been lax about security. Which can be attributed to my general absent-mindedness, but it's also because I've not wanted to live my life worrying about someone burgling my home or stealing the car. Part of me just wants to deny the possibility.
Members of my family are always reminding me to better secure the property we own. In regards to what was stolen, my slackness made the theft easier than it could have been.
And so my thought processes since have been focused on blaming myself. Why didn't I do that? What an idiot I am.