Tom Hamilton: Simplifying gender agenda will only lead to alienation

The gender binary is slowly loosening up and young people today questioning their gender have the right to know what gender is and can be. Photo / Thinkstock

The other morning I was grabbing a coffee before work and read Bob McCroskie's opinion piece in the Herald, and that was the start of a ruined day.

In my head I screamed "shut up Bob", but I also contemplated the hard work our Rainbow community and our allies do to make sure that trans* and intersex people are not invisible, and our human rights are recognised.

In contrast, the previous day was a different experience. On behalf of some others, I was asked to present a petition to the health select committee kindly supported by MP Kevin Hague and delivered stylishly by MP Jan Logie. The petition asked the health select committee to consider the following:

"The House urges the Government to take action to address the inadequate supply of publicly-funded gender reassignment health services, including counselling, endocrinology and surgical services, in New Zealand."

So within 48 hours I became very confused by the gender agenda myself.

It got me thinking. So often I find myself caught up with clarifying the gender agenda. I realise I am not arguing for an identity to be recognised; we have so many identities in the Rainbow community it would take too many years to get each group happily playing in the sandpit together. I also recognise we spend a lot of time arguing about how fractured the Rainbow community is, and that our sexuality or gender are not everything to us.

I thought all day about how mad I was at the essentialist and expert-driven mentality that has been promoted since the 1950s about gender dichotomies and how, as trans* or intersex people, it is so rude of us to expect people to understand where our gender differences or similarities intersect.

I also was annoyed that the dominant culture is dominant and that the dominant "they" had utilised the perspectives and world view of children to get everyone thinking that the community I am in is coercive and brain washing. Half of this was not said or stated openly in the McCroskie article.

What was shared though was misinformation which would hurt people no matter what their gender.

I felt like there was no point in clarifying to the world the differences between gender and sexuality or the intricacies of "gender change". Thankfully, others have pointed out these differences.

Neither was I motivated to explain the barriers for an individual no matter what age they wanted to "gender change" in the health care system or to not "gender change" and comfortably live inclusively in their community.

I recognise my frustration and cynicism, and I wonder if others recognise their responsibility to understand others no matter what beliefs and doctrines they follow. It is a basic human right, and children have those rights too. How do we make sure they are met? Today I am unsure.

Our lives as people outside of binary gender are constantly erased and those young people today questioning their gender have the right to know what gender is and can be.

It will be with them the rest of their lives; this structural discrimination and essentialist commentary is worthwhile to no one.

Research must be developed to be inclusive and all health and well-being professionals need to develop ways to engage with our community and protect our human rights.

I still wonder if it is my responsibility to tell Bob McCroskie he is harming people with his views. As a community we are hurting already - yes, we have great resilience, but little access to support or resources, so it is one of many responsibilities I hold along with others to recognise discriminatory misinformation that is harmful.

The right to be respected, to have a sense of belonging in a community, to have your health care needs met and to be seen and heard if you are intersex or trans* is not very accessible. I believe it is essential to be informed about what your sexuality or gender is and how it can change over time. I also recognise that every person has an understanding of their own sexuality and gender identity which gives them a greater sense of belonging within their communities, families, schools, work places and churches.

It is essential that people understand that misinformation leads to people in our communities being harassed, hurt, stigmatised and isolated. Sharing what you believe to be right can actually erase others.

• Tom Hamilton is an OUTLine NZ trainee counsellor.