Blame injustice, meddlers, wretched fortune, or just plain old karma, but the bell is ringing for Len Brown. His campaign team, it says in the newspaper, doesn't think the mayor can win again next year. But his likely departure opens the door for a sparkling line-up of fresh faces. Here are some of the bright new things being talked about, along with a stab at how they might introduce their manifestos.
Phil Goff for mayor
I have hardly given any thought to standing for the Auckland mayoralty, but people keep approaching me and demanding that I become Auckland mayor. For this reason I have given it plenty of thought. As I travel up and down the aisles at the Mt Roskill Countdown, ordinary people from across the community come up to me and say things like, "Will you stand for mayor, Phil?" or "You're going to have to go home now, Phil, we're about to close."
Maurice Williamson for mayor
I have heard this contest for the Auckland mayoralty described as a grey onslaught. I am really struggling to know what the grey onslaught will look like. Will it come down the Pakuranga Highway as a series of ageing members of parliament? No, it will not. More like Queen St, actually.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have news for you! This morning we had the most enormous big grey rainbow across my electorate, a resplendent great arc in every imaginable tone of grey. Now that I think about it, it was an off-ramp. Nevertheless, it has to be a sign.
John Banks for mayor
Do you think I came up the river on a cabbage boat? I did not. I came up the river on a massive hovercraft assembled from the cadavers of my vanquished enemies, drawn by a litter of rehabilitated beagles. Mark my words, I shall mayor you once more. The universe is unfolding as it should.
