"Thanks for everything!": Former Deputy PM Winston Peters and PM Jacinda Ardern. Photo / Getty Images
"Thanks for everything!": Former Deputy PM Winston Peters and PM Jacinda Ardern. Photo / Getty Images
OPINION:
MONDAY
Let me be perfectly clear. The housing crisis has many fathers but my government is more like a kindly distant relative. We watch from the sidelines and wring our hands in despair.
But at the end of the day we're powerless to intervene. We're not to blame. Peopleare to blame.
Aren't people awful? They drive house prices up. They make first-home buying difficult and sometimes out of reach. They sit in their expensive houses and when my government knocks on the door and asks if they'd like a capital gains tax, they yell down from their balconies, "Go away!"
"But it's me," I say to them. "Good old Jacinda! I saved you from the pandemic. I saved you from Judith. Can't I just come in and we can talk about it?"
But they throw a bucket of water over the balcony. That's people for you. They're to blame for everything, if you think about it.
TUESDAY
Winston's farewell morning tea. There were gingernuts, asparagus rolls, and a cake. A leaving card had gone around and there were a few comments - "Don't be a stranger", "All the best", "Hope the fish are jumping". I gave it a lot of thought and wrote, "Thanks for everything!"
Someone brought in a guitar, and there was talk of a sing-song, but most MPs made their excuses and were back at their desks by 10.15am.
People are to blame for Winston. They were charmed by him for a long, long time. Still, he got me the job as Prime Minister, and I'll always be grateful.
It's just that governing with him these last three years wasn't exactly fun. "It gives me great pleasure," I very nearly said in my speech, "to farewell Mr Peters."
WEDNESDAY
People are to blame for the climate change crisis and that's why my government has declared a climate change emergency.
Mike Hosking. Photo / ZB
We must take action now. We must act with urgency. We must sooner or later get around to coming up with some kind of plan that adds up to more than a hill of beans.
But a hill of beans is a start. And that's why my government has declared the state sector will be required to buy only electric or hybrid vehicles, and all 200 coal-fired boilers used in the public service's buildings will be phased out. That's sure to make a difference!
There was widespread applause from Labour and the Greens in the House but I was sure I heard a slow, very ironic clapping, as if to say, "About time. What took you so long? We've been telling you to do this for three years. Oh well. Better late than never. Pat on the head. Good for you."
I couldn't bear to look across at that little told-you-so face of Miss Chloe Swarbrick.
THURSDAY
The siege of the White House continues. Good grief. Only Donald Trump is to blame for Donald Trump.
I exchanged Christmas gifts today with Mike Hosking. He gave me a facemask with a picture of his face on it, and I gave him an election poster with a picture of us standing next to each other.
Dear old Mike! We have our rows and nothing he says makes sense but it's Christmas and who can blame him for anything?
