Online satirists pull no punches on US election

NEW YORK - Some are born to rule, others to ridicule, is a worthy reminder to US presidential hopefuls struck by an endless arsenal of satirical barbs on the web.

A host of cybercynics take aim at President Bush and Democratic challenger John Kerry in fake news reports, multimedia presentations and childlike artwork online, offering comic relief from blood-boiling political debate.

But unlike their more famous peers on television or in other media, web satirists grapple with few limits of time, space, or good taste.

"Any prematurely bald guy with a modem can get online now and write satire," said Sam Margolis, a freelance writer who created Chortler.com and boasts a monthly visits of about 150,000.

Margolis pens pieces for the site from Budapest, Hungary, including an obscenity-laden "Ask Dick Cheney" advice column and an anthology of "The Secret Poems of Arnold Schwarzenegger." He says the stakes have never been higher.

"Satirists are very worried right now - we've got someone (Bush) with a proven track record producing great satire. Do we want to spend the next four years telling ketchup jokes? It's a major decision," he said, referring to Kerry's wife, Teresa Heinz Kerry, heiress to the condiment-making company.

The Specious Report delivers updates from dozens of satire sites under its "Division 2004" heading. The site promises to stay abreast of the zingers through the November vote "... and inevitable recount."

Recent headlines include "Republicans Outsource Kerry Attack Groups to India" from Skewpoint, touching on domestic controversy over US companies sending jobs overseas, and "Teresa Heinz Kerry Launches Five-Language Tirade" on Broken Newz, poking fun at the would-be First Lady's multilingual riff during the Democratic Convention last month.

Another frequented link is written by television and radio commentator Andy Borowitz, with such lead-ins as: "In first intelligence failure, new CIA chief did not know he was being nominated: Ignored clear signs of appointment, critics charge."

Internet satirists admit, with some self-deprecation, that the Bush administration and Republican campaign get more than their fair share of the jibes. They attribute it partly to the liberal sentiments of some writers, and the old truism that those already in power are more fully exposed to mockery.

The Humor Gazette endorses Kerry outright, delighting in his correct pronunciation of the word "nuclear" compared with Bush's "nookyuler" iteration.

Many jokes mirror accusations slung between the political camps, portraying Bush as duplicitous or ill-informed and Kerry as a waffler with an overbearing hairstyle.

"Bush Continues War on Terriers," writes MidnightPlumbers, detailing how "anti-terrier" authorities are endowed with new powers "to round-up terriers who are suspected of knowing other terriers."

At Chortler, readers can choose "John Kerry Emoticons" - cutouts of the senator's prominent coiffure - to express feeling indecisive or ambivalent in electronic messages.

Some of the most popular satires split their venom equally, like the cartoon clip at JibJab where animated versions of Bush and Kerry sing a rancorous spoof on "This Land Is Your Land, This Land is My Land." The cartoon kept JibJab on top of humor sites tracked by HitWise for at least three weeks.

"We try and keep it all in good fun. And if you look at the piece, we think it's optimistic at the end as everybody from Hillary Clinton to Karl Rove link arms and sing," said Evan Spiridellis, who created the site with his brother Gregg.

Top-ranked satire site The Onion says it strives for equal opportunity derision and searches for the less tried but still true jokes about America's leaders. "Bush 2004 Campaign Pledges to Restore Honor and Dignity to White House" and "Kerry Unveils One-Point Plan for Better America" are just two examples.

"There was a dominant 'Bush is dumb' storyline which we never wanted to get involved with because it was an old joke," said staff writer Peter Koechley.

Kerry has lagged Bush in satirical character development, he said, as writers find it harder to suss out the comic.

"A lot of what we do is guesswork based on slower moving trends ... people slowly turning on a candidate," he said. "But we try to take a jab at everyone who's doing stupid things."


- REUTERS