New broom sweeps in with nice repartee

By VERNON SMALL

deputy political editor

It would never have been like this under Sir William Birch.

Anyone wondering whether the new Government would bring a different style to the Beehive might consider these extracts from Finance Minister Michael Cullen's first press conference.

On the Incis inquiry: "Everyone is reaching for their lawyer like Winston reaches for a fag."

On IRD Commissioner Graham Holland's resignation: "Mr Holland has had much better and more attractive job offers - and why would you earn less to be savaged by Rodney Hide?"

On Women's Affairs Minister Laila Harre's comments on the economy: "I shall try desperately hard not to comment on women's affairs for which I am peculiarly unsuited."

On the dollar: "It doesn't go as far as it used to."

On delaying the party-hoppers' bill until the New Year: "Let's hope no bunnies have hopped in the meantime."

On Act's recount in Rangitikei possibly delaying Parliament: "I know Act is an anti-Christmas Party and hates the notion of people giving each other presents. But I am determined Act won't bugger up Christmas for everybody in these buildings, including you."

On the Treasury's briefing papers: "I have never asked them this, but one suspects they prepare two versions, red and blue ... with subtle differences."

On the Treasury's briefing again: "The papers were blessedly brief. I didn't have to wade through 180 pages of economic theory before we got to the crunch bits."

On how he should be addressed: "The most trouble I am having is persuading my staff not to call me Minister. It makes me feel like I should be wearing some sort of strange reverse collar rather than being myself."

On the need to re-equip the Army as a priority over the Navy: "So far we haven't found a decent sort of Battle of Jutland to fight."

On market reactions to his comments: "The markets will have to get used to the idea that I do not see it is my job ... to pretend things are rosier than they are. I will describe the economy as I see it, not as perhaps I would like to see it ... from the seventh floor of the Beehive."