James Griffin: List-making

Photo / Thinkstock

Things to do today.

1. Write column!

Is it wrong that I love making lists? Is it indicative of some kind of compulsive demon lurking within me? Lists are a perfectly natural way of attempting to create a semblance of order in an anarchic world, right? Is it wrong to want to say to the world "yes, I am a list-maker, do you have a problem with that?" I make lists on, pretty much, a daily basis. I like being able to see the things I hope to achieve today written down, in vaguely the order in which I hope to achieve them. Generally I like to put the big-ticket items at the top of the list - the stuff that absolute needs to be done to keep everything moving in the right direction. Down near the bottom of the list is the more mundane stuff, the household chores that sort of need doing but our continued existence on the planet won't be in jeopardy if they don't get done. I also like to throw in a few things I absolutely know I will get done because they either take little or no effort to complete or they are already scheduled from a previous list.

This last category, list-fodder I suppose you could call it, is important in a list because the value of the list is primarily determined by crossing things off it. The tiny little bit of pleasure, that sense of accomplishment, in crossing something off your list, is what lists exist for. Crossing off the things at the top of the list is, obviously, more satisfying, but you get to the point in your day when crossing anything off that list is a buzz, a reward you can give yourself.

Okay, when I say "your day" and "yourself" I actually mean me, because the craving of this buzz is only the beginning of my list-making affliction. We all know making a list is a perfectly normal thing to do, people do it every day. But is it normal, I ask you, to make a list and then to later add things you've just done that weren't on that list, to the list, just for the satisfaction of then immediately crossing them out? Sure, on one level this is simply correcting an oversight when making the original list; but on another level this is surely not normal behaviour.

I was tidying up my office the other day (and yes, there was a list for that day that had "tidy office" written on it) and among the reams of paper that found their way into the recycling bin I kept finding old lists in my terrible handwriting. To me they were little portals back through time, to days both good (when lots of things were crossed out) and bad, where little or nothing was achieved. And yes, there were things on those lists, uncrossed things, that made me think, "damn, didn't quite get that done", so I added them to my current list.

But let me be crystal clear here: despite the occasional, hopefully normal, memory glitch, these are not lists brought about through forgetfulness. I pretty much know, on a day-to-day basis, what needs doing. I can function perfectly without a list. I just like making lists - and, especially, crossing stuff off my lists. Surely there must be a cry for help in there somewhere - or is it just kinda pathetic? I would settle for pathetic.

I suppose if I started writing lists of things I shouldn't do, like "do not attack toaster with a carving knife" and then, at the end of the day, crossed off all the ones I hadn't done, just for the rush of crossing things off my list, that would really be a sign I had a problem. There is also a danger that one day I would look at the list and go "I wonder what would happen if I did attack the toaster with a knife". Thankfully this is a list-making road I have yet to tread.

Lists. Love them. The act of writing the list, laying out the future on paper in an orderly fashion, thus keeping the chaos at bay. The sense of purpose I get from looking at my list, knowing what I need to achieve in the time between now and when I make my next list. The buzz of crossing things off my list, as I shape my world according to my will. Even the acknowledgement of the things on my list I did not achieve - reminding me I am but a human and also that they probably weren't that important in the first place. That's not being weird about lists, is it?

Things to do today

1. Write column!
2. Write list of other things to do today.