KEY POINTS:
In ancient times soothsayers studied birds and animals for clues as to what lay around the corner in human affairs.
They would've had plenty of food for thought this week. Firstly, a hairy humanoid was sighted in a remote Canadian forest reviving speculation about the existence of Bigfoot, the North American version of the Abominable Snowman. Alternatively, it could explain why no one's seen Tony Veitch lately.
Then we learned that the pentailed tree shrew of the remote west Malaysian rainforest is extremely partial to fermented palm nectar which has an alcohol content of 3.8 per cent. The shrew downs the equivalent of nine glasses of wine a day making it, in health industry terms, a hopeless lush.
Sadly, taxpayer-funded scare campaigns haven't reached the west Malaysian wilderness so for 55 million years this tiny mammal's been thumping back grog, blissfully unaware of the harm its binge-drinking is doing to itself, its family and the rainforest at large.
And in an inevitably remote Chinese village a piglet has been born with the face of a monkey. In soothsaying terms this could presage just about anything from Armageddon to the second coming of Elvis but the owner took the pragmatic - one might almost say Chinese - view: "It's hideous," he said. "No one will be willing to buy it."
Clearly the Chinese Government read something into this little piggy's deformity because it promptly engineered the collapse of the world trade talks. It justified reducing seven years of torturous negotiations to an exercise in accumulating frequent flyer points on the grounds that it was protecting the interests of the Chinese peasantry.
Perhaps the Communist Party still feels guilty about the Great Leap Forward, Chairman Mao's brain explosion which led to the deaths of 20 to 40 million people, mostly peasants and mostly through famine.
Meanwhile, one can only wonder what freak of nature caused the King of Tonga, the first South Sea island ruler to model himself on a bounder in a P.G. Wodehouse novel, to declare his intention to de-power the monarchy and introduce democracy.
The problem with universal suffrage is that it's not universal. For decades the rest of the world has wished it had a say in US presidential elections and after his quasi-regal progress through the Middle East and Europe, Barack Obama must be wishing the same thing.
You would've thought that after eight years of having to tell foreigners they didn't vote for George W. Bush and nor did any of their family or friends, Americans might have welcomed the sight of 200,000 Berliners going weak at the knees over a US presidential candidate.
But the first poll since the Brandenburg Gate happening showed Obama trail John McCain whose strategy so far has been to show himself as the sourest old git in the retirement village.
It's a salutary reminder that we shouldn't attach too much significance to those American movie stars, musicians and writers who disown Bush and deplore their country's foreign policy.
Some are just saying what they - rightly - think foreign audiences want to hear; most represent an urban liberal minority whose good fortune, preoccupations and priorities aren't necessarily shared by their compatriots.
Our political scene is currently dominated by the superficially immaculate figure of Winston Peters.
This, of course, is exactly how Winston likes it, although it's devoutly to be hoped that this stint in the spotlight ends with him fleeing the stage under a bombardment of rotten vegetation.
Historians trying to identify the moment when Labour became primarily concerned with clinging to power for its own sake - the most reliable indicator that a government has passed its use-by date - will surely zero in on the decision to make Peters Foreign Minister.
He may be the great survivor but one wonders whether Peters was wise to pick a fight with Sir Robert Jones.
Apart from being an accomplished and bruising controversialist, Sir Robert comes across as that most dangerous of adversaries: someone who truly doesn't give a damn.
Peters' blustering refusal even to address issues for which the electorate is entitled to expect an explanation continued in Parliament where he regaled MPs with quotations from Alice in Wonderland.
Not surprisingly he didn't quote the lines that capture the repugnant persona he adopts under pressure:
"I have answered three questions and that is enough,"
Said his father; 'Don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you downstairs!"
