In politics there are no accolades for modesty

By BERNARD ORSMAN

To grab the attention of the cameras, political candidates will go to almost any lengths, like David Cunliffe, the Labour candidate for Titirangi, who wins the award for Self-Promotion.

The former diplomat with hair dyed red turned up at Helen Clark's campaign launch and handed out copies of his own rag, the Cunliffe Courier, containing 22 photographs of himself.

The Best Jalopy award goes to Labour's George Hawkins for his tiny Fiat Bambina. Runners-up: the Alliance candidate for Whangarei, Tricia Cutforth, whose 1971 VW Beetle sports a "Catch the Alliance bug" sticker; Act's Alex Swney and his Vespa scooter; and National's Richard Worth, who only takes his four-wheel-drive off the road to park at the Northern Club.

Prime Minister Jenny Shipley won the No Bull award for posing with a sire bull, Forever. As one wit said, the Mother of the Nation met the father of 180,000, the number of cows getting his semen this year.

Jim Anderton gets the Failed to Get Off the Ground award with his press conference held at Wellington Airport to illustrate the brain drain. Hardly a soul turned up.

The Blast from the Past award goes to Christian Heritage, which has ex-newsreader Philip Sherry at number two on its party list.

It's no contest for the Worst Acting award, with 1000 households in Northcote receiving, unsolicited, the uncut video of Ian Revell, National MP (on Elm St).

Ultra distance runner and Alliance supporter Siggy Bauer snatched the Self Mutilation award for running from Wanganui to Auckland "for the right to work."

Best recipe: publicity-hungry Green MP Rod Donald's organic spiced apple cake.

Stealing the Limelight award: McGillicuddy Serious leader Graeme Cairns' fronting up to NZ First's economic policy launch in Hamilton with a wheelbarrow of dirt to make bricks.

Best Internet site: National's youth-friendly "www.nocrap," but the Supreme award goes to the party that has had more policy launches, relaunches and lines in the sand than all the others combined, Act. Its best stunt was the launch of its Treaty of Waitangi policy on One Tree Hill.