KEY POINTS:
Phil Goff could talk the hind legs off a donkey. Indeed, such is Goff's legendary verbosity, that, by the time he finished, the animal could well be completely legless.
Leaving National without a leg to stand on seemed to be Goff's tactic in Parliament yesterday as the new Corrections Minister literally tried to shout National's law and order spokesman Simon Power into submission.
It was their first substantial exchange since Goff took over the portfolio from Damien O'Connor in October's Cabinet reshuffle.
The contrast was immediate - a bit like the difference between watching a Michelin-star chef and someone heating a can of baked beans.
When he was regularly asked by Power if he had confidence in his blunder-prone department, O'Connor would defensively reply: "Yes. But there is always room for improvement." Then he would sit.
Faced with the same question yesterday, Goff stayed on his feet and retaliated with a political speech boasting an 84 per cent drop in prison escapes and a halving in drug abuse in prisons since National was last in power nearly a decade ago.
After Power asked if Goff could give an assurance high-profile prisoners in Paremoremo like RSA triple-killer William Bell were not getting special treatment, Goff began what was obviously going to be a lengthy rundown on why that prison was not a "holiday camp" .
He was interrupted this time, but Goff in full flight is usually hard to stop as he barely pauses for breath and also ups the decibels to drown out interjections from the Opposition.
As was the case when he was Justice Minister, he is unwilling to concede anything which might make him or Labour look soft on crime or soft on prison inmates. But when it comes to failings, Power has stacks of ammunition.
He wanted to know if the minister still had confidence in his department when, in the last two weeks, four inmates, including a convicted murderer, had escaped; a twelfth guard was suspended from Rimutaka Prison, and there was an alleged head-butting and brawl involving Manawatu Prison staff at a hotel.
Goff had to concede that "from time to time" there would be incidents. But then came the barb. "I cannot say that all Corrections officers at a party will behave better than National members behave at their private parties," he added, before deploring such behaviour but noting it had not happened on prison property or in prison time. "I am not sure how the member expects the Department of Corrections to act in that regard."
However, Goff then spoiled things by being a bit too clever. He noted Power had been quoted in yesterday's Herald promising to ask a totally different set of questions. "Perhaps he would like to take the opportunity to do what he promised to do."
Power seized the opportunity, seeking Parliament's leave to ask Goff a further question. Labour's standard response is to reject such pleas and an audible "no" came from Labour's Leader of the House Michael Cullen.
Rather sheepishly concurring, Goff had to endure mocking laughter from National MPs for his tactical slip-up. The all-too-confident, Michelin-star chef had over-egged the pudding.
