KEY POINTS:
While briefly distracted by MPs finding it rather titillating that the Air Force's once proud combat wing is now garbed in black latex, Parliament was yesterday dominated by Labour's desperate hunt for something, anything to halt the John Key juggernaut.
So far this year, however, the governing party's campaign to dent the National leader's credibility has had about as much success as Labour has had in finalising the sale of the Skyhawks during the seven years they have been on the market.
Unlike the 17 ageing fighter-bombers - which have been given a latex covering to keep out the damp while stored outdoors - Teflon is Key's choice of protective coating.
The latex on the Skyhawks is now fraying in places - something Act's Heather Roy made evident by holding up large photographs of the planes in order to embarrass Defence Minister Phil Goff.
But Key's second skin remains intact. Whatever Labour throws at him, nothing seems to stick.
The hongi with Tame Iti has come and gone without any seeming impact on Key's popularity.
Last week, as debate raged on the Government's solutions for making homes more affordable, Labour highlighted conflicting statements Key had made about a housing development in his electorate.
That attack sank without trace. Yesterday, Labour tried again. With the assistance of Jim Anderton, Labour used ministers' question-time in Parliament and the subsequent afternoon general debate to hammer the theme that Key will say one thing to one audience and something else to another.
It also wheeled out major union allies, with the Council of Trade Unions and Labour affiliate, the Engineering, Printing and Manufacturing Union, pointing to apparent contradictions in Key's public statements.
The unions seized on a Far North newspaper report quoting Key as telling the Kerikeri District Business Association: "We would love to see wages drop."
The same report had already been highlighted by Finance Minister Michael Cullen the day before. His attack similarly disappeared.
Taken at face value, Key's comment about wanting wages to drop is hugely damaging, running counter to everything he has said. It would be astonishing if he said it, regardless of whether a reporter was present or not. But Labour claims it is evidence of National's secret agenda to cut workers' wages. When it was raised in Parliament yesterday, National barely flinched. National says Key was referring to migrant-attracting Australian wages, rather than New Zealand ones.
The newspaper report is not absolutely clear, however. The question now is whether the reporter has him on tape. But no one could contact the reporter yesterday.
Anderton, meanwhile, had picked over a report in the Southland Times quoting Key as saying National would consider giving the farmer co-operative Alliance Group a suspensory loan to boost the capital in its proposed mega meat company.
According to the Progressives' leader, suspensory loans were a throwback to the 1980s when farmers' incomes were bolstered by subsidies.
The Agriculture Minister warned New Zealand's efforts to persuade other countries to reduce trade barriers would be undermined if New Zealand re-introduced such trade-distorting subsidies for the agricultural sector.
Even allowing for the tendency of politicians to ham it up in Parliament for effect, Anderton seemed to be over-egging things.
He and Labour MPs made a lot of noise about Key's alleged inconsistencies. And Key will be in strife if he did say New Zealand wages should drop. But the prevailing sound is of a barrel being well and truly scraped.
