Greg Dixon’s weekend

THE SMARMY ARMY

My god, the English can be insufferable. And we're about to suffer them being insufferable on our soil for a couple months in the fat, fetid, baldy, beer-swilling shape of the Barmy Army. Stupid name, too. A slow Thursday afternoon in the Herald library produced a far better list of travelling sports fans from around the world: the Swami Army (India), the Palmy Army (West Indies), the Salami Army (Italy's poor), the Armani Army (Italy's rich), the Blarney Army (Ireland), the Origami Army (Japan), the Ami Army (France), the Hatami Army (Iran) and the Tsunami Army (take your pick).

YES, MINISTER

Well, Waiheke wasn't the only place suffering from suspected foot and mouth this week. The mind of poor old George Hawkins may well be afflicted, too. While giving a press conference outside the police northern communications centre, our Minister of Police was showing signs of the disease. He was repeatedly asked by hacks to express confidence in Police Commissioner Rob Robinson and after saying a few times that he did, he obviously wanted to make it absolutely clear. "And do I have confidence in the Minister of Police, so that the media all know? Yes I do. He will get the job done."

A KARMA CHAMELEON

The Boy King or Boy George? You be the judge.

THE OREWA ORACLE SPEAKS

How much would you pay for a vision of New Zealand's future? How much would you pay for a meal and a vision of New Zealand's future? How much would you play for cocktails and a meal and a vision of New Zealand's future? Well, if going to swill, scoff and snooze while HRH Don Brash is delivering you his vision of New Zealand's future at a Sky City fundraiser next month, you'll be paying $600 per head or $6000 per table. Damn, I think I'm already doing something that night.

A HARD LEFT SPIN

The deputy general secretary for the Auckland City Peoples Revolutionary Council, Bruce Hucker, has taken the culture of spin under mayor John Banks to new heights to put poor light on two of his favourite hobby-horses. Spin one: Hucker, who chairs a political group on improving the waterfront, put out a press release with a lot of warm fuzzies about public support for better public access and more open space (surprise, surprise) but failed to mention that major groups most affected thought the council's latest draft vision was weak and short on detail (ie a load a crap). Spin two: Hucker, one of the loudest supporters for intensification, issued a press release saying research showed there was no clear link between intensive housing and positive or negative social outcomes. What he didn't make clear was that this was because there was not enough research on the matter and, in fact, there was a growing body of literature arguing the case for intensification was based on flawed research or social doctrine. Remove this man's fax machine immediately.