Love, as so astutely observed by Pat Benatar, is a battlefield. So while the Chris and Chris Show was a balm for the soul, another great romance is at play in New Zealand politics, waged in the verbal fisticuffs of Winston Peters and David Seymour.
Christopher Luxon’s 11th-hour confirmation yesterday that he would work with Peters as well as Seymour if it came to it has sent screaming from their cupboards a flock of love-hate letters; barbs exchanged over the years between the NZ First and Act leaders.
Here are 15 of them, ranked – to borrow the Australian vernacular – from least to most shirtfronty.
“We’re not going to sit around the Cabinet table with this clown.”
Seymour on Peters, after noting “obviously” if necessary he could agree to a government with both involved, on Gone By Lunchtime, September 2023
7
“People are going to sit down and try and write the legacy of Winston Peters … As they sit and they try to describe what Winston Peters has achieved in 40 years, they will find they have nothing to write. What a shame, what a shame. But, sadly, it is still true that he is taking the shape of a Shouldbegone.”
– A David Seymour parliamentary speech, complete with visual aids, February 2020
“This is a guy who has more bottom lines than a 100-year-old elephant. He is now up to nine bottom lines. He has peaked too early in this election, and he is going to find out that the problem with Winston Peters’ politicking is eventually you run out of other people’s gullibility.”
– Seymour in Parliament, July 2017
5
“Here’s the political cuckold from Epsom shouting out now. You know who that is, don’t you? The one who’s looking for a second tango partner. In fact, I saw him the other night on TV dancing, again … They pick these special moments on national TV to humiliate themselves.”
– Peters has a go at Seymour in the house, February 2020
“It’s like an arsonist showing up dressed as a fireman, saying, ‘I am here to help and fix it all’.”
– Seymour on Peters as a candidate for government, Newshub debate, September 21, 2023
3
“David Seymour discovered his Māori-ness the same way Columbus discovered America, purely by accident.”
– Peters lashes out at Seymour (Ngāpuhi) on Te Ao with Moana (September 18, 2023), though fails to acknowledge that Christopher Columbus would have voted for Act.
“You are a crook. A charismatic crook perhaps, but a crook all the same.”
– Seymour reaches for the hyperbole in a 2020 TV debate
1
A series …
“Winston Peters’ swansong promise to slash immigration is tragic. Peters himself will soon be retired and will require a care worker to help him get dressed and go for a walk. He’ll discover that such facilities can’t function without migrant workers.”
“I’ve spent much of my career respecting and working for retirees. You seem to want to euthanise them. As for your nasty comments about my physical – I reckon you’d last 10 seconds in the ring with me.”
– Peters
“He spends enough time in the hospital without my intervention. If his punches are as empty as his political promises, I’ve got nothing to worry about.”
– Seymour
“There’d be three hits – you hitting me, me hitting you, and the ambulance hitting 100. Thank your lucky stars I’m not into physical violence.”
