Christopher Luxon gifts Chris Hipkins an Air NZ safety message as Parliament wraps up for Christmas

Prime Minister Christopher Luxon in the House. Photo / Mark Mitchell

Prime Minister Christopher Luxon painted an amusing picture of Opposition Leader Chris Hipkins’s recent flight back from the Labour Party conference in Christchurch.

He said the flight attendants were forced to take a life jacket from Hipkins during the pre-flight safety demonstration after he “instantly started blowing into the mouthpiece for more inflation”.

Luxon made the remarks at Parliament during the adjournment debate, when MPs do their best to wind each other up before Parliament ends for the summer recess.

Labour was the chief target of Luxon’s barbs. He said he was grateful Labour wasn’t in charge of the North Pole, for if it were, “the elves would charge consultants fees, the sleigh would cost $4 billion and the reindeer would be working from home”.

Luxon’s “friends in the media” also got a mention, with Luxon exhorting them to have a good holiday.

“Please take as long as you need,” Luxon said.

Coalition partners NZ First and Act were also in his sights.

Shane Jones, Luxon said, was actually trying to get on Santa’s naughty list “because he wants a lump of coal”.

The Act Party, who are ever-keen to take credit for the coalition’s achievements, also copped flak with Luxon saying their Secret Santa this year was a “disaster”.

“They wouldn’t stop taking credit for each present,” Luxon said.

Then it was Hipkins’ turn. He noted a recent meme comparing Luxon and National to the captain of the Titanic for the Government’s decision to cancel the Interislander ferry replacements.

But Hipkins said the comparison was overly generous.

“The captain of the Titanic had a ship, this government doesn’t.

“The captain of the Titanic had a crew who followed orders,” Hipkins said.

Jones – never one to shy away from interjecting during speeches – raised his voice just as Hipkins was paying tribute to the family members who made sacrifices for MPs to do their work.

“His family makes a sacrifice every day,” Hipkins said to Jones.

Green leader Chlöe Swarbrick was next. She made a point of making no jokes in her speech, starting with an attack on the Government.

She then pivoted to pay tribute to her co-leader Marama Davidson, currently battling cancer, and MP Efeso Collins, and Kiingi Tuheitia who both passed away this year.

Peters was next. Te Pāti Māori co-leader Rawiri Waititi moved quickly to try and derail the speech, which devolved into the two men shouting at each other. Peters told Waititi to have a good Christmas, “you’re going to need it sunshine”.

Peters referred to June Jackson, the mother of Willie Jackson.

For Jackson, who has one of Parliament’s thickest skins and is usually happy to take as many barbs as he gives, it was too much, he got up and raised a point of order.

Te Pati Māori’s Rawiri Waititi closed out the year with a song. Photo / Jamie Ensaw

“I don’t think my mother should be brought into the debate I have taken offence to that and I think he should apologise,” he said.

Brownlee, said Jackson’s mother was “a fine woman” and offered Peters the chance to apologise, which he did.

Act took the next call, with David Seymour riffing on Luxon’s Secret Santa gag joking that pass the parcel was impossible with National because the pink parcels were always covered in blue wrapping paper.

Waititi took Te Pāti Māori’s call, but not before nearly every single one of Act’s MPs made the point of leaving the chamber, underlying the ill feeling between the two parties. The stunt didn’t quite go to plan. Simon Court dramatically tripped and very nearly fell flat on his face.

Waititi quipped it was one of his tipuna who had tripped him. He wrapped things up with a song, a riff on Winter Wonderland with each verse ending “... on stolen Māori land”.

Chris Bishop took a call, revealing a curious list of rejected fast-track proposals, including an e-bike track on Waiheke Island from the Greens, and a fast-track proposal for a wealth tax from Auckland-based Labour MPs, with submissions in opposition from Hipkins.

Thomas Coughlan is Deputy Political Editor and covers politics from Parliament. He has worked for the Herald since 2021 and has worked in the press gallery since 2018.