The best of his zingers came in a storyabout a trip he and current Revenue Minister Barbara Edmonds - Nash’s former ministerial adviser - went on together, during which a stranger asked if they were husband and wife.
“Barb was no doubt bossing me around so someone asked if we were married. Barb shot back, ‘Nah, wrong flavour’, Nash said, much to the delight of those in the House as Edmonds, sitting below Nash, nodded.
Nash then paid homage to Labour deputy leader Kelvin Davis, but choked up midway through and struggled through his lines, his voice faltering.
Corrections Minister Kelvin Davis is one of Stuart Nash's good mates. Photo / Mark Mitchell
A quick-witted MP didn’t miss the opportunity to call across to Nash, “he’s your wife”, breaking up the tension and eliciting a good laugh from both Nash and Davis.
Whoever holds the title of Nash’s work wife, their tributes paled in comparison to what Nash said about his actual wife, Sarah.
Nash said he’d deliberately left out the section addressing his family when showing his wife a first draft.
He seemed to pay for that decision when emotion welled up in his throat, confessing Sarah and his children had “paid a high price for my service” as a politician.
A draft copy of his speech contained the line, “Sarah, you’ve had my back in a way that’s allowed me to move forward – and I love you for it every single day”.
All Nash could muster was, “Sarah, you’ve had my back ... in a way that’s allowed me ... I love you”, pulling on the heartstrings of everyone watching, even yours truly.
Sarah may however feel aggrieved her husband reserved his last shout-out for Newstalk ZB host Mike Hosking. More on that next.
Mike Hosking flirts with reneging on Covid-19 vaccination wager
Nash used some of his last words in the House to call out Hosking for not honouring a bet the pair made about whether New Zealand would reach 90 per cent fully vaccinated before Christmas, 2021.
The wager, which involved a case of wine from Hawke’s Bay’s Craggy Range Winery, was agreed to in September of that year when only 24 per cent of the eligible population were double-dosed.
It was a long shot for Nash, who believed it would happen, and Hosking was happy to accept the terms, while stating he hoped he was wrong.
Nash was all too happy to brandish a blown-up copy of that article during his speech, challenging the radio host to announce on his show on Friday morning that a case of wine was heading Nash’s way.
Stuart Nash holding up a blown-up copy of a Spinoff article that talks about the bet he made with Mike Hosking. Photo / Mark Mitchell
Come 7.30am on Friday, Nash was on Hosking’s show and the host went about arguing why Nash had lost the bet because the statistic didn’t include some New Zealanders that were now eligible, like 5 to 11-year-olds.
But Hosking appeared to acquiesce, citing Nash’s departure from politics and the fact he was a “decent bloke”.
“I think you lost, I think I can defend the fact that you lost, but I don’t want to be a p***k about it,” Hosking said.
It wasn’t until text messages from outraged listeners came flying in that Hosking began to question his decision and finished his show for the week without giving New Zealanders a definitive answer.
Beehive Diaries was also unable to wring the truth from Hosking, who said in a statement that “negotiations are tense but ongoing”.
National getting education ‘ciriculam’ bak on trak
It’s not just Christopher Luxon who may need to brush up on his spelling in National’s ranks as the party’s Tauranga MP, Sam Uffindell, made some rather unfortunate typos on his social media.
Uffindell, appearing at an education-themed public meeting in Tauranga alongside National education spokesperson Erica Stanford, spelled “curriculum” as “ciriculam” in an Instagram post lauding the event.
A screenshot from National MP Sam Uffindell's Instagram account, showing multiple errors. Photo / Instagram
Forensic analysis found further errors, which included using “their” instead of “they’re” and writing “teacher aid” instead of the correct “teacher aide”.
Twitter evidence indicated Uffindell published an amended version soon after the initial post with two corrections, but did not pick up the misspelled “teacher aid” the second time around.
Fair play to Uffindell, he fronted on the “ciriculam” calamity, telling Beehive Diaries it was “one of the more amazing renditions of curriculum I’ve ever seen”.
“Our team have eaten some humble pie and we’ll be laser focussed on the quality of our curriculum going forward!”
A quick check with Education Minister and former principal Jan Tinetti revealed “focussed” is more commonly spelled “focused” in New Zealand.
Beehive Diaries didn’t have the heart to seek a further response from Uffindell, reluctant to throw stones in a very glass-prone house.
Chris of the Week
It’s hard to go past Chris Hipkins this week. As Labour leader, he swung for the fences and while not everything he did hit the sweet spot, it was enough to drown out the opposing team.
His patience was tested by one journalist who made it his mission to stump Hipkins on whether basil plants and vacuum-packed garlic were in for a discount (Hipkins wasn’t sure).
