Political correctness in laughs

By AUDREY YOUNG and ALAN PERROTT

Helen Clark received two standing ovations yesterday at a Labour Party rally in Wellington.

Or more correctly, two Helen Clarks received standing ovations.

The first time president Mike Williams introduced "Helen Clark", the crowd of about 400 rose to its feet to give a thunderous welcome for what turned out to be Helen Clark impersonator Lorae Parry.

The faithful were not disappointed, despite having to wait for the real Prime Minister.

"Helen Clark" warmed up the audience with a string of one-liners on Labour's opponents.

On National leader Bill English: "Have you seen his campaign slogan? Straight up for National. Sounds like a permanent election.

"Bill really should give up a career in boxing. In fact, I think he'd make a much better fireman, the way he's sliding down the polls."

On New Zealand First leader Winston Peters: "A man who started a love affair with himself 40 years ago and he's been faithful ever since.

"Apparently the only reason he has had three children and not four is because somebody told him that every fourth child born in the world is Chinese [in fact he has two children]."

On the Alliance and genetic modification: "Last week I asked them if it had caused any serious side-effects and the Alliance simply shook its two heads."

Former Shipley-impersonator Pinky Agnew joined Parry on stage at the end of her routine to form the adoring singing group "the Helenettes".

Or, as Mr Williams bravely joked, the Sweet Corns.

Some things are beyond a joke. There wasn't a murmur about paintings from the fake Helen Clark.

Impersonators of a different sort soured the Prime Minister's weekend. In Manukau, three Greenpeace protesters highlighting the GM corn issue disguised their anti-genetic modification "tin can" outfits under Labour banners and easily passed through an outer circle of security guards.



Helen Clark has turned on Greenpeace, a group she has previously supported, and said its actions were "preposterous" because the Government told the environmental group about the corn last year.

"Greenpeace's claim that it knew nothing is about as disingenuous as the Greens' claim that they knew nothing."

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