But he denies the charge of child cruelty.
"Any force used by him, whether it's a clip behind the ear or a squeeze of the knee, is authorised by Section 59 of the Crimes Act which authorises use of reasonable force for parental control," Ryan told the jury.
"Just because these charges related to alleged domestic violence some 12 to 18 years ago, does not mean he is presumed guilty and needs to prove his innocence, this would be flawed thinking."
Ryan said it was a "tit for tat", "he said, she said" situation.
"We've heard she said. Let's hear the other side of the conversation ... [he] takes these allegations very seriously."
While giving evidence today the officer said he "did have some concerns" about his stepson when his relationship with his former wife began, but he "was ready to try and be a good parent".
He said the boy was obsessed with computer games.
"I gave his first introduction to computer games ... and have regretted that ever since.
"When [he] didn't want to do something ... it just didn't happen. It wasn't worth the energy and heartache to get him to do something."
He denies calling his stepson "sick" and a "pervert" for watching his mother breastfeed their son.
"It didn't happen, he was not breastfed, and I repeat myself, he was not breastfed."
He also said he refutes "categorically" pushing his stepson's head against a passenger window as they drove home from a rugby game.
The trial before Justice Pippa Sinclair has been set down for three weeks.
2009 police report
A 2009 report by police following an investigation into family violence allegations made against an officer concluded that no charges should be laid due to "insufficient evidence", a jury has heard.
A detective senior sergeant who in 2017 investigated the police officer said she could not find any statements made by him at the time allegations were first raised by his ex-wife in 2009.
"The report says [the police officer] was spoken to but there was no summary of what he said and no statement stored anywhere that I could find," Megan Goldie told the jury today.
But under cross-examination defence counsel Mark Ryan produced his client's statement from 2009.
He said the 2009 police report concluded that there was no public interest to prosecute the officer, and accompanying legal opinion said no charges should be laid.
Goldie said she became involved in the case in 2017 after she was alerted to an incident at the officer's home with his current partner.
Neither he or his partner wanted to give statements on the incident, she said, but a neighbour did.
After hearing allegations made by his ex-wife, an investigation was authorised.
The officer was charged in January 2018.