Paul Little: One less shaky old hand at the tiller

While men study, it seems women should stick to their knitting. Photo / Getty Images

Concern has been raised in some quarters at the number of university chancellorship positions that are occupied by silly old men.

Normally they don't cause any trouble, but occasionally they rouse themselves from their geriatric slumbers to make embarrassing public statements which suggest they would be better off at home reading Best Bets and chortling at the antics of Steptoe & Son while digesting their roast mutton.

The number of women qualified to hold such positions is almost certainly higher than zero per cent, yet that is the number of female incumbents at the time of writing.

However, there is one less shaky old hand at the tiller this week, following the resignation of Massey University's Chancellor Chris Kelly. This was the fallout from an interview with Rural News in which he explained the difference between gentlemen and ladies, which is apparently nowhere more obvious than in the first year of vet school.

"Women mature earlier than men, work hard and pass," revealed Kelly. "Whereas men find out about booze and all sorts of crazy things during their first year."

What, you will be wondering, are "all sorts of crazy things". He didn't say. And it's no good asking the little ladies. When they're not finishing off their petit point antimacassars and exchanging sponge recipes, they're apparently working hard at their studies.

Lost in the immediate reaction to Kelly's remarks was the nub of the Rural News story, which was that the structure of the course was to see some changes. The enhancements are designed to get a "better male/female balance in vets graduating".

And by "better male/female balance" they mean "more males/fewer females".

Previously, the first year emphasised physics, chemistry, biology and other subjects that break your brain when you're trying to get through a crate with your mates and perpetrate a hilarious practical joke involving amputated animal body parts - or as the lads call it, "having a romantic night out". This saw a lot of men fail, while women sailed through to the second year of studies.

But if the first year requires more cow-lifting and sheep-tossing it will make it easier for the boys both to pass and continue their larrikin hijinks.

The university was merely proposing to employ a practice widespread through the rest of society: if you don't like the result, change the rules.

Not to worry. Many of those girls are - sorry, were - probably going to vet school just to trap some poor young bloke into getting married anyway.

And then, as Kelly, no slouch when it comes to observing the relations between the sexes, pointed out: "She gets married and has a family, which is normal."

The new system will show those minxes what they can do with their eyelash fluttering and bosom fanning and book studying.

If only my daughters had come under his influence during their education. They wouldn't be enjoying satisfying careers, work-life balances and robust self-esteem. Instead they'd be happily crocheting tea cosies and yearning for the days when they would be obliged to go into seclusion and shun the company of men during menstruation.

Following Kelly's resignation, some lamented that he had been punished simply for saying what he thinks. And indeed, his departure could have a chilling effect on other chancellors who may no longer feel they are free to put women in their place.

But the problem wasn't just that he said what he thought. It was that he thought what he did while in a position with responsibility for the education of women.