This year has been notable for more than the usual number of cataclysmic events. Even before Cats was released.
Yet at the end of the year the story that most occupied many people was of a dim-witted social media campaign to interfere with sales of a biography of Jacinda Ardern.Social media have become a very mixed blessing and it's becoming increasingly difficult to keep track of the ways in which they can irritate.
So for 2020 I'm proposing a set of guidelines for your social media. Do yourself and the rest of us a favour by promising you will no longer post:
Any video of a musical event you attended, recorded on your phone so that all you can hear is the people around you talking and all you can see is some vague backlit figures on stage in the distance.
Expressions of any-not-really-controversial opinion accompanied by the phrase "don't @ me"
Passive aggressive put-downs of your children consisting of pictures of them behaving inappropriately and captioned: "Someone's having a bad day today - me."
Our family in our matching Christmas T-shirts challenging your family to beat that.
Pictures of your pets, unless they are doing something really interesting.
Strongly held views about any Star Wars movie.
Political arguments. (It's my woolly-headed dream that one day everyone will wake up to the fact that social media are not an adequate outlet for complex thought).
The phrase "I'm not crying, you're crying" accompanying any sentimental image.
Challenges involving books, music or movies.
Close-ups of cuts, bruises or any other results of accidents.
Photos of me in my hospital bed without telling you why, in order to make you ask.
Anything by Banksy
Latte art made by "my fave barista Charlie".
Hilarious fake controversies about things like pineapple on pizza.
Outraged dobbing-in posts about the likes of rubbish strewn on berms, especially in Devonport.
Photos of unmown berms in Devonport.
Pictures of your pets in clothes.
Anything you've grown in your garden to eat.
The following individuals should also be permanently banned:
People who obviously really need other humans in their lives and don't have any, especially the variety that posts along the lines of: "Here I am after my husband left me for my sister, dancing like I just don't care."
Ballet dancers on holiday doing jetés in front of ancient monuments.
All politicians.
People who after notifying you that they have been married to their "best friend for 25-plus years" need to reassure you they have "never regretted it".
Technologically challenged individuals asking "My screen's just gone blank and I can't remember my password, can someone help?"
I know these are bad habits because I've done pretty much all of them myself.
The human rights commission disagrees with the treaty principles bill, cocaine and cannabis are increasingly being used in the workplace as we get sun for the weekend.