NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather forecasts

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
    • The Great NZ Road Trip
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
    • Cooking the Books
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • What the Actual
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / New Zealand

Paul Little: Floods of laughter, thanks to Craig

By Paul Little
Herald on Sunday·
27 Apr, 2013 05:30 PM4 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

Craig's beef was that some people thought he had actually made the clearly parodic statement. Photo / APN

Craig's beef was that some people thought he had actually made the clearly parodic statement. Photo / APN

Opinion by Paul LittleLearn more

How many Colin Craigs does it take to change a light bulb? At least 20. One to change the bulb and the other 19 to slowly and in very simple language explain the joke to his supporters.

When the satirical website The Civilian published a clearly satirical piece quoting Colin Craig to the effect that rainbows were God's promise never again to flood the world, the Conservative Party leader became upset.

Which is odd, because Craig's personal friend God is quoted in the Bible (Genesis 9) saying just that: "I do set my bow in the cloud and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and earth ... And I will remember my covenant ... And the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh."

The Civilian put other words in Craig's mouth that are not found in Genesis, though they are implied, to the effect that the flood would be all on again if we made God angry, and that we had done that by legalising gay marriages.

Perhaps that was the source of contention. And though Craig denied saying it, he didn't deny believing it.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Instead, he went to Chapman Tripp who, in a commendably brief missive, demanded a retraction, an apology and $500 to meet Craig's expenses. Good to know you can still get A-list lawyering in this town for three figures.

Their letter even included a handy retraction and apology portion for The Civilian to sign and return to them - just like the bit you tear off and send in when you have a parking ticket.

It's a shame they didn't also do their client a favour by refusing his instructions and preventing him from making a fool of himself in public.

Craig's beef was that some people thought he had actually made the clearly parodic statement. It's the people who couldn't tell the difference who should have been getting professional help, not Craig.

But The Civilian should definitely flick Chapman Tripp the $500. This week's PR would have cost considerably more - not to mention the interminable meetings - had a regular PR company been employed.

Discover more

New Zealand|politics

Colin Craig warns on satirical quote

23 Apr 05:30 PM
Opinion

John Drinnan: Craig defends right to sue

25 Apr 09:30 PM
New Zealand

Migrant groups claim NZ not racist country despite poll

25 Apr 05:30 PM
New Zealand|politics

Web satirist gets the last laugh

26 Apr 05:30 PM

In the aftermath, Craig wanted it to be known he has a sense of humour. When someone says this you can be pretty sure it's on the same basis that people say, "I'm no racist, but ... " or, "I've got nothing against gays, but ... "

The charge is almost certainly true. However, Craig may be the exception to this rule. He has certainly provided us with plenty of chuckles this week.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.


One of the main reasons The Civilian got into trouble was that it is getting harder to distinguish satire from reality.

This is an observation made so often it has become a cliché, but we do seem to be enjoying something of a Golden Age in this respect.

From Novopay to John Key and the GCSB, and privacy breaches as policy, we have entered an era that will be looked back on as The Years When You Couldn't Make That S*** Up.

So, when it was reported that Race Relations Conciliator Dame Susan Devoy was to receive an honorary doctorate from the University of Waikato, which has a culture of monumental staunchness about race relations, I began assembling materials to make the joke about this being her year for getting things she hasn't had to qualify for.

Alas, reality outstripped satire yet again.

"I feel a little bit disingenuous to have not done the hard yards like the people here today," Devoy wisecracked at the graduation ceremony, beating me to the gag by several days.

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Save

    Share this article

Latest from New Zealand

New Zealand

Her husband died years ago. Then she found a 'miracle' in her house's charred ruin

09 May 06:00 PM
New Zealand

Local contract for $70.5m Napier council and library precinct

09 May 06:00 PM
Premium
Letters to the Editor

Letters: Brooke van Velden should remember she rode women’s wave to win Tamaki electorate

09 May 06:00 PM

One tiny baby’s fight to survive

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from New Zealand

Her husband died years ago. Then she found a 'miracle' in her house's charred ruin

Her husband died years ago. Then she found a 'miracle' in her house's charred ruin

09 May 06:00 PM

'For the unluckiest people, we are very lucky.'

Local contract for $70.5m Napier council and library precinct

Local contract for $70.5m Napier council and library precinct

09 May 06:00 PM
Premium
Letters: Brooke van Velden should remember she rode women’s wave to win Tamaki electorate

Letters: Brooke van Velden should remember she rode women’s wave to win Tamaki electorate

09 May 06:00 PM
Gisborne mayor invites Act leader to witness community support efforts

Gisborne mayor invites Act leader to witness community support efforts

09 May 06:00 PM
Connected workers are safer workers 
sponsored

Connected workers are safer workers 

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • What the Actual
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven CarGuide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP