Party, party ... but behave

Your handling of the office end-of-year party and your behaviour at it could make or break your career, writes JULIE MIDDLETON.

It's that time of the year when thoughts turn to barbecues and beachside baches ... and that incident at the office Christmas party last year when the company accountant was sprung number-crunching with a woman who was not his wife.

No doubt about it, work Christmas parties can be risky business.

They're a complete unknown - you can't tell the average Kiwi how to behave, and crowd dynamics will depend on the venue and what's planned for it, the state of business, and what's been happening in the office.

And then there are the other variables: what if it's deathly dull? What if partners, mystified by in-jokes, need style-cramping shepherding?

What if the cynical grumblers nursing their bottles of absinthe in the corner wreck the atmosphere?

What if I slide into the nefarious embrace of the booze fairy?

But it gets worse. If you want to scale the career ladder, it is in your best interests to attend the office "do". After all, the Christmas function is the official company thank-you to staff.

Absences will be noted and might suggest that you have an ambivalent attitude to the company and colleagues, says Samantha Denz, the human resources manager of BT Funds Management.

Consultant Jan Alley says: "It's really noticed if people from management are not there.

"You don't want to be seen as a snob - but you don't have to stay right to the end."

Although there should be no compulsion to attend official functions, New Zealand corporate culture seems to assess no-shows negatively.

"It's liable to count against you," says law expert Bill Hodge.

An indication: "I've heard bosses say [of their staff in employment disputes] 'of course he or she didn't take part in team-building exercises'," he says.

But what if the party is (gulp) a fancy-dress?

Throw yourself into it, even if a little teeth-gritting is necessary.

"That can be great fun," says management consultant Pleasance Hansen, "and it takes down some of the barriers."

But don't take those barriers down too far, she warns.

"Don't be deceived by the casual atmosphere of Christmas parties. People forget that the things people do at parties is what will be talked about for years and years."

Whether you're in fancy dress or evening wear, err on the conservative side and stay in line with your usual dress style - nothing too tight or revealing.

There are few company cultures so emancipated that women in flesh-revealing clothes can avoid the "tart" label - which is completely incompatible with the "serious career high-flyer" one.

Adds Jillian Paul, the human resources head of Progressive Enterprises: "They're all business functions, so you have to portray yourself in a business-like manner."

Be yourself - "don't pretend otherwise," says Paul - but limit your embrace with the abovementioned fairy, who will be more tempting to you the more salty, greasy or sweet foods you eat.

CEOs and HR heads, says Paul, never forget if you make an idiot of yourself in public. Speculation: They won't care if you do graveyard shifts for the rest of your life.

Ask these HR heads to recall cringe-worthy moments at Christmas bashes and they come up with alcohol-laced stories that would be terrifying were you centrestage.

The worst Denz can remember is "a young staffer throwing up in the toilets ... and his GM had to clean up."

Hansen remembers one bright young thing who stripped "half-naked" and danced on the piano at a restaurant, an act "that outlived and overshadowed her reputation as a good worker. It was very embarrassing for her."

Ask anyone - the salacious stories linger longer.

To avoid becoming a legend in your own lunchtime, Alley suggests taking a "neutral" approach to functions. You're less likely to go overboard, or just get bored, she says, if you don't expect it to be your social event of the year.

Hansen reckons a game-plan is a good way to approach the great unknown that is the end-of-year corporate "do".

"Think about it beforehand," she says. How much are you intending to drink? How long will you stay?

"Have your taxis home sorted and friends to go with who can help keep you emotionally and physically safe."

Christmas parties test one career attribute more stringently than any other - emotional intelligence. This is your ability to recognise your own emotions and identify those of others, working from that to get the best out of a situation.

"A person with good EQ has a really good understanding of what's appropriate and not appropriate," says Alley.

And they will also understand that as a Christmas do is still a business function, they should probably not miss the chance to engage in some low-level networking.

Pleasance Hansen dubs this "impression management", and points out that senior staff are always "clocking" what others are doing.

Still, the office party is, she says, one of the few chances you'll have to talk to people in a business setting with the "boundaries of positional power taken away".

"Here we are as human beings, enjoying this time of year. It's a chance to plant ideas, to have a supposedly casual conversation, to show that you are witty and have ideas," she says.

"It's not an opportunity to say what you really think. That's courting disaster. Don't assume that because your boss is drunk that he'll have amnesia about what you say to him. It all comes back to impression management."

Career coach Kevin Simms reminds us that parties are not the time for serious shop talk - "it's not the time to do a formal presentation or apply for a job."

If you do hear any snippets of information that are worth pursuing, the time is the next working day.

No matter how tempting, steer clear of gossip, says Alley. Try to engage, and flatter unfamiliar colleagues by asking them what they think of, say, the day's current events.

Most considerate bosses want to see that staff have a good work/life balance - it's better for the bottom line - and the less regulated atmosphere of the company party might be a good place to show it.

"You want to know about the balance in their lives," says Paul, "and what makes them the person they are."

See a party as a horizontal and downward networking process as well as upwards - you never know who will be at the top of the Christmas tree in years to come.

However, CEOs know that staff are out to impress at such parties, so ease back on the sauce. "They can see right through it," says Paul.

And remember, if HR or senior staff come into your sights that they probably know more about you than you realise. Exaggeration won't impress.

"Emphasise teamwork, not individual achievement," says Paul.

Be alert to body language. If eyes are wandering and body language suggests someone wants to move on, you should too.

It will help you to avoid the networking cardinal sin, monopolising.

"A fine line comes in to it," says Paul. "You can become too familiar with people."

Getting over-familiar, especially when the equation includes men, women and alcohol, can lead to a long-lasting hangover.

A recent court case involving the Press newspaper has made it clear that relationships between staff are still covered by company policy off-site.

And when you learn that sexual tension is present in 60 per cent of cross-gender relationships - figures gleaned by psychologist Linda Sapadin in a 1988 study - it's probably no surprise that the Human Rights Commission records a slight jump in inquiries about harassment issues in the time before Christmas.

Alcohol plus men plus women might also lead to raised voices. If you are cornered by an aggressive colleague, take charge of the situation, says Crispin Garden-Webster, the vice-president of the Human Resources Institute.

"It's very difficult and dangerous to try and manage things out of context.

"Say 'it's not appropriate to talk about it now, let's talk about it later'. The ability to manage [such a situation] is one of the hallmarks of a leader."

And another is the ability to leave the troops to it.

"One thing I've seen some good leaders do is make themselves scarce," says Garden-Webster.

It doesn't matter how well bosses and staff get on, dynamics are different once the hirer/firer has cleared the horizon.

The Career guide to avoiding Christmas career carnage may sound prescriptive, but Simms reduces it to a handy catchphrase.

"Be one step more conservative than everyone else there," he says.

"Have one less drink. Leave at 10 pm rather than midnight."