Parents want individuals, not kids who obey

By Mary Jane Boland

consumer issues reporter

Teaching children to be obedient is half as important to New Zealanders as it was 10 years ago, according to a survey.

The latest New Zealand Study of Values shows parental concerns have changed greatly since a similar survey in 1989.

The study's executive director, Dr Alan Webster, said it seemed parents these days were most interested in teaching their children to be individuals and hard workers.

A key finding is that 22 per cent of respondents thought children should be taught obedience at home, compared with 45 per cent in 1989. But good manners were now deemed the most important of all attributes parents could teach, upheld by 77 per cent of respondents, up from 73 per cent in 1989, when responsibility rated most highly.

The survey monitored 1201 people from a cross-section of the public, and was taken late last year.

Teaching independence (54 per cent compared with 49 per cent in 1989) and responsibility (59 per cent compared with 75 per cent in 1989) were seen as the next most important.

Encouraging children to work hard was now important for 37 per cent of people, up from 30 per cent a decade ago.

"It says something about a great tendency for individualism," said Dr Webster, a social scientist at Massey University.

"Looking out for themselves is key - it's about hard work for yourself to some extent."

People's opinions on what children should be taught at home differed according to the age of those surveyed.

Most people over 60 were less likely to agree that encouraging children's imagination was important, whereas people aged 18 to 30 favoured imaginative play.

Young adults also thought determination was important, whereas those over 60 did not agree.

Three-quarters of people believed that a child needed both parents in order to grow up happily - similar to the 84 per cent response in 1989.

Dr Webster said 88 per cent of men thought a child needed both parents to grow up happily. Women were less convinced, which he attributed to the larger number of women bringing children up on their own.