Parentline: A friend to children in need

Parentline aims to help parents cope before they reach crisis point. MONIQUE DEVEREUX analyses the group's winning formula.

Seven children in a Hamilton suburb who live within three streets of one another all have something in common.

They have either been abused or been in danger of having their living situation break down.

By coincidence, their parents all turned to the child-protection agency Parentline for help.

Now the families have united in their will to keep their children safe, and the youngsters have declared their suburb a violence-free zone.

The success story is just one of many that does not grab the headlines, but it is testament to the steady progress made over the past 23 years by the Hamilton-based organisation.

What started as a small Waikato telephone service has grown into a team of more than 100, providing 17 specialist services to parents around the North Island, aimed at teaching them how to provide a safe environment for their children.

That includes everything from parenting skills and budgeting advice to child counselling and anger management.

Since it began, Parentline has lobbied for protection for children from domestic violence, the setting up of specialist police teams to investigate sexual abuse, a commissioner for children and the banning of corporal punishment.

Parentline founder and director Maxine Hodgson says that while the emphasis is on the child, the name Parentline is used because it reflects that the organisation is "a line in to helping parents be better parents, and therefore make for a happier, safer and healthier life for the kids."

Mrs Hodgson says the agency is about teaching parents practical tips and managing tolerance levels.

"It's knowing when you are reaching your [tolerance] level and recognising when someone else is reaching theirs," she says.

"An unhappy, stroppy child can make parents unhappy and stroppy and in many circumstances that can be the start of a cycle of abuse. We try to help the people who may be approaching that scenario."

Cases are mostly self-referrals, but 72 other agencies work in with Parentline to refer cases. "We tend to work together as much as possible. We also act as a kind of brokerage service to ensure that the people we are helping are getting it from the best place."

Mrs Hodgson believes that the key to preventing and curbing the rate of child abuse lies in educating people and raising public awareness of what child abuse is, and what individuals can do to stop it.

"Recognition is the key. Early intervention is all right if you know what you are looking at. But we need to learn to see what is going on around us."

She recommends people become "keen observers" of other people, their family and friends. "And if you are not sure what is happening and uncertain if there is a situation developing, find someone you trust to talk to. But don't ignore it."

Mrs Hodgson gives the seven children living close together as an example. "They learned how to identify the potentially abusive situations and went home and declared their whole block a violence-free zone. They were practising what they had been taught."

Through Parentline programmes children and adults can learn to be advocates and spread the word on how to recognise abusive situations before it is too late. "They learn to tell their friends first, and friends might be able to say, 'Try this or do that.'

"Or adults who recognise a buildup of anger or frustration in their friends and family will do something as simple as say ... 'Let's swap kids for a couple of hours,' or 'Can I hold the baby, you must be tired, have a lie down'."

But in a violent situation, where a child is obviously being hurt, Mrs Hodgson recommends a harder line.

"When people think they have the right to hit kiddies or their family or whoever, it is a very dangerous situation to become involved in. In those cases you still need to find the person you can trust to tell about it, but it is more likely to be your local police officer or Child Youth and Family."

Two weeks ago, Parentline organised a march against child abuse through the streets of Hamilton. Around 600 Waikato people attended, including some from outlying areas who had closed their businesses for the day to make the trip to Hamilton. Toddlers in prams, police carrying symbolic white coffins and a group of nuns also joined in.

At the rally, which was prompted by the death of 6-year-old Hamilton girl Mereana Edmonds, hundreds signed a petition calling for the Government to finance training in recognising and dealing with child abuse, as well as mandatory reporting of abuse.

But the march and the petition are just parts of a wider scheme that Mrs Hodgson continues to promote as a key to reducing the instances of child abuse in New Zealand - education and public awareness.

"You can liken it to a civil defence emergency. New Zealand is in crisis and it needs help. But if we had an earthquake in Hamilton we wouldn't be asking people in Wellington for that help," she says.

"It's the same thing with this abuse crisis. We need to give our help right next door, to our neighbours and friends and family. No one ever got a medal for minding their own business."

* Parentline 07 839-4536

* Parent Help Line - call free on 0800 472-736


Herald Online feature: violence at home

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