Overcoming being different

How can you bridge cultural divides at work? Dr MARIE WILSON is associate professor of management at the University of Auckland, research director of the ICEHOUSE business accelerator and a veteran of 20 years in corporate management and small business.

Q. I am working in a financial company where I am the only Chinese New Zealander. I came here four years ago. I am quite happy with my work but somehow I don't feel I have much to say to people around me, and neither do they.

I think probably it is because of my language and culture, though I have a masters degree in English and teaching experience, and have been exposed to western culture for more than 20 years.

My question is: how can I get on with people at work and life more easily if people think that I am Chinese and not friendly? I don't think I need to be sociable with them desperately, but in the meantime, I do need their friendship.

A. Work is a social environment, and we often spend more hours in a week with our co-workers than our family members.

Surveys have shown that workers rate good relationships with their co-workers and supervisors as one of the most important aspects of their job satisfaction.

Often this comes down to a friendly environment and a sense of connection with others at work.

That connection is harder to make if you are different from everyone else, whether that difference is due to gender, culture or disability. In your situation you say that you are the only Chinese member of staff and that you are seen as "not friendly".

People's interpretation of friendliness is often a result of what you communicate. If you keep to yourself at work, it will be hard to overcome this perception.

You may need to make sure that you greet your co-workers by name whenever you see them, and make an effort to join them for lunch or in informal meetings.

If people do not eat lunch at work, then you could invite one or two co-workers to lunch with you.

Friendliness also includes being attentive to others. Many people respond well to questions about themselves. You could start by asking them about their work or even how they would handle a particular situation.

It takes time to build a network of friends in any situation. Perhaps focusing on building more of a relationship with one or two co-workers initially is the way to begin.

Q. I'm involved in yet another skirmish at work, where someone requested feedback on a proposal at the last minute, and then got very angry when I quickly emailed back my response, which was very detailed and occasionally a bit critical.

This isn't the first time it's happened with this person, and I'm starting to think that I just shouldn't deal with him at all.

A. Requests for feedback at the last minute are seldom what they appear to be.

Either the person is working to a tight deadline and is running out of time, and any contradictory or critical comments only add to the stress, or it may be a tactical move to try to get something through, thinking that you won't be able to respond so quickly and then they can just move it on through and say that you were consulted if any problems rise in the future.

Try to figure out, either in discussion with the person or with other co-workers, just what the other person is conveying with the last-minute requests.

The second issue is embedded in your message - email. Critical messages are difficult to receive at the best of times, but in person they can be delivered with a few smiles to break the tension and questions in some instances rather than statements.

For example, "Have you thought about?" sounds better than, "You haven't considered ... "

Unfortunately, people who email you asking for feedback, often get email feedback in response. You might try conveying that you do have comments and critiques and would like to discuss them face to face.

If the person is trying to fast-track, however, you will have to subsequently email or record in writing the feedback you have given, or it may disappear and you won't be able to document your concerns if it comes back to bite you.

Q. I'm in a call centre and I know, because no secret is made of it, that we are kept under surveillance at times. All telephone conversations are taped, and bosses can see how long we are on the phone for and how long each conversation lasts.

We don't know when and for how long though. How far can they go - and what can we do about it if we are worried?

A. Performance monitoring is fairly common in call centres and is becoming more common in other lines of work. As you note, you are aware of this monitoring.

You've probably noticed in calling into other types of services that customers are often aware that calls are monitored as well.

Generally speaking, the monitoring allows managers to assess how people handle calls, check back if a customer alleges that you were insulting, rude or gave them wrong information, and more generally, see when peak calling times are, and identify employees whose performance is different from the norm or from what is expected.

There is research to suggest that constant monitoring may be stressful for some employees, but this appears to be reduced if employees are aware of why calls are being monitored and what standards are being used to assess call centre staff performance.

If you do not already have this information, you should be able to ask for it from your manager, and discuss your concerns with him or her.

Q. My employer offered me a promotion to a managerial position some time ago, but requested I sign a new employment contract with a clause requiring me not to accept work with an opposition company for a period of three months after my resignation.

I was concerned about this clause at the time, but my employer insisted it was a standard requirement of all the management team. Can you confirm my legal standing if I were to take up a job offer with a competing company?

A. Restraint-of-trade clauses, limiting your ability to work for a competitor, are very common and are, as your employer suggested, standard in management agreements in many companies.

You can understand the company's concern: having developed you and entrusted you with customer information as well as key strategic information, they don't want you to "share" this with the opposition.

I think rather than discussing this with "others" that you get

professional legal advice and a review of your agreement.

At a general level, restraints of trade are permitted, although they shouldn't "unreasonably" restrict your ability to seek other employment.

This would be a matter of interpretation given your position and the industry you work in.

* Email your questions for Dr Marie Wilson to answer.