Months of extensive chemotherapy and radiation treatment followed, she said, which left her with side effects and a greater sense of gratitude for life. Ms Lomas was finishing her last year of a nursing degree and today was near completion of her studies. She counts herself a cancer survivor and was now on three-monthly checks.
"I got a lot of side effects from the treatment but I feel really happy every day I'm alive. It has changed me - I know it's corny but it's true."
Confronting her own mortality also gave her a greater empathy for her online friend in Masterton, she said, who, even though the pair had never met, had provided vital comfort and support for herself and son Jacob, 18, at the death of Zahra.
"We first came in contact in an online spiritual group, and we thought we were facing problems then. Talk about test your faith with what's happened to both of us since," Ms Lomas said.
"We haven't physically met but we've followed each other's lives quite closely for a number of years. It was really heartbreaking the day her daughter died - I couldn't believe it - and then it happened to me about a year later."
"Mandy really was a tower of strength for myself and my family. She was really supportive because she'd just been through it. She was amazing. She was right there for me all the way and I want to return some of that support."
Ms Cairns alone cares for two young sons, Caleb, 17, and Faegan, 11, and the lack of a vehicle was a struggle for the family with which Ms Lomas wants to help, launching a Givealittle page with a target of $5000 about a fortnight ago. About $1200 had been raised so far, she said.
"Mandy lost her beautiful and creative daughter a couple of years ago. She has also lost her wonderful mum. I have watched her suffer sadness and loss and go on to raise her lovely sons on her own with very little help. They really need some support. They have no car and I want to help them so she can drive her boys to school. Can we all get together and please help this family?
"She has two sons and she has to pushbike everywhere in the cold. She can not take them out and about. I would like to help her get a car and I am fundraising. I want to help make her life a little easier."
To donate to Paying it forward to Mandy and her boys go to givealittle.co.nz.
Where to get help:
• Lifeline: 0800 543 354 (available 24/7)
• Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)
• Youth services: (06) 3555 906
• Youthline: 0800 376 633
• Kidsline: 0800 543 754 (4pm to 6pm weekdays)
• Whatsup: 0800 942 8787 (1pm to 11pm)
• The Word
• Depression helpline: 0800 111 757 (available 24/7)
• Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155
• CASPER Suicide Prevention
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
