KEY POINTS:
It's that time again - endurance, tears, glory against the odds - and that's just for those watching.
The Olympics are a TV marathon, and only the best-trained couch potatoes will get to the finish line.
For the less serious watcher, here are our top picks.
Mark Todd
and Gandalf, eventing dressage (today 10.30/11.15am)
Two decades after his last Olympic gold, Mark Todd is out of retirement and back in the ring. He has a new horse, Gandalf, and five Olympics' worth of experience to call on. Watch Todd and his grey gelding try to recreate the magic of those legendary years with Charisma.
Liza Hunter-Galvan, women's marathon (11.30am, August 17)
Just starting this race will be a victory for mum-of-four Liza Hunter-Galvan. The Texas-based Kiwi was named late to the New Zealand team after a long battle with selectors. She'll be running for 13-year-old daughter Amber, who lost her memory of her mother running at Athens when a truck smashed into the family's car.
Any final with a New Zealander
Let's face it, we'd be glued to a game of draughts if we thought New Zealand would win a medal in it. Keep an eye on BMX whiz-kid Sarah Walker, triathlete Bevan Docherty, shot-put queen Valerie Vili and world champion single sculler Mahe Drysdale. After a tough run in Athens, veteran boardsailor Barbara Kendall should be back on form, too. Go Kiwis!
Handball (heats start 1pm and 11pm today and 1pm, 5pm and 11pm tomorrow)
At last, an Olympic sport we can all excel in. Olympic handball may bear little resemblance to the game you played at primary school, but you should remember enough to yell "in!" and "out!" as ball whizzes past.
Diving (heats at 5.30pm tomorrow to Wednesday next week, then at various times. 10m platform finals midnight, 1.10am, August 21 (women's) and midnight, 1.20am, August 23 (men's)
There's a reason so many ads use images of a diver cleanly breaking the water. Watch these chiselled bodies in their scraps of lycra and marvel. This is also a chance to see the man they call the "diving tsar", Russian Dmitry Sautin, in his final Olympics.
Closing ceremony (11pm, August 24)
Even if you hate sports, this celebration of athletes and dignitaries has a certain feel-good appeal. Watch and breathe a sigh of relief: it's all over for another four years.
