NZ at Noon: Masterchef, Weird Names, Gnomes, Shoes and Handbags

Blista Payne getting down and dirty.

Some of the stories making headlines in the provinces on Wednesday morning include Masterchef NZ, the difference between tagging and street art, weird named women getting "down and dirty", more missing gnomes, and the Wairarapa Miss Tui contestant has sparked a debate about chainsaws and hotpants.

Far North Mayor Wayne Brown told farmers if they have to wait until everyone understands everything about changes to the rating system "I will be dead, and so will you." Despite this, the farmers were reportedly not as hostile as they seemed likely to be when the meeting began.

Rotorua children attending a holiday programme have learned that tagging is for losers but "street art" is cool. Meanwhile more than 160 descendants, relatives and family members from the small island of Atiu in the Cook Islands will converge on Apumoana Marae in Rotorua from tomorrow for a "cultural re-awakening".

Government cost-cutting threatens the Tauranga-based Hauraki Battalion, which boasts famous recruits include Lt General Lord Bernard Freyberg, VC, and Corporal Willie Apiata, VC. Meanwhile aliens were the topic of conversation at Baycourt yesterday when Ben 10 zapped in on his time machine.

In Hawke's Bay, Elle Qaeda, Crash Bambi-Kute, Blista Payne, Anna von Carnage, FOff and friends have been getting down and dirty! There's a photo gallery to prove it. They've got nothing to do with Masterchef New Zealand's Elephant Hill chowdown last night, which locals are predicting will give the bay more than 60 minutes of fame. But over in Nelson, former Masterchef competitor Karyn Thomas is warning fans not to be under any illusion the show's main aim is entertainment.

Emergency housing for people who had nowhere to go in Wanganui is being shut down. If recent petitions are an indication, the biggest worries in Wanganui are a footpath extension, problem oak trees and dangerous boy racers.

In the Wairarapa, a debate has begun over whether the Miss Tui contestant Christina Booth, featured in this column a couple of days ago, should be wearing hot pants or PPE while chainsawing. Meanwhile an ambitious project to create a cycleway linking Shannon in the Horowhenua District with Eketahuna by traversing the vast Tararua Range wilderness remains on the drawing board. All they need is money.

A University of Canterbury study has found women who are more threatened by idealised images of females in media tend to own more shoes and handbags, but not trousers. Also in the Garden City, a woman was so drunk she tried to start her car with a house key and thought the glove box was the ignition.

Otago psychology PhD student Min Hooi Yong is experimenting with domestic dogs to establish if they understand human emotional cues. Meanwhile almost 250 University of Otago students have been suspended as the university increases its focus on producing quality students.

A dog that has been terrorising pets in Oamaru has been captured and its owner now faces a fine, and possibly having the animal put down. Meanwhile more garden gnomes have gone missing in the town.

The top trending topics on Twitter in New Zealand at midday were, #WaysToBeginSex, #SignsThatYouUgly, Tupac, #IDidntTextYouBack, Coachella, Jimmy Cowan, New Zealand, Flo Rida, Instagram, and Kiwis.