He said early in their relationship it became apparent she had “quite volatile mood swings”.
“She would lose her temper quite easily.”
The man said things got heated between them as their relationship progressed and he said things he regretted.
“I’ve called her a b****, I’ve called her a c*** etc, obviously I’m not proud of that.”
He told the jury she disclosed to him during their relationship that she had borderline personality disorder (BPD), which she earlier in the trial said she had not been diagnosed with and did not have.
The musician said she told him she had the condition after a highly volatile episode.
He said during one incident she lunged at him and ripped his shirt as he ran away to the bathroom.
In a recording played in court earlier today, the defendant told the complainant to go “f*** yourself”.
He said in the audio that she still hadn’t deleted her Instagram account like she said she would and whenever they tried to talk she would have a meltdown.
Social media was an ongoing issue for the couple, with the complainant alleging she had to delete her Instagram to prove to him she wasn’t a “ho”.
The defence alleges she also didn’t want him following women on social media.
In the recording, the man said he had given the complainant a chance to show him things would be different but they lasted “four days”.
“I gave you a f***ing chance, you haven’t changed, you never will change.”
The woman said he would be “so nice” to her if she deleted Instagram or removed her male friends from it, but he would punish her for seeing her friends or having social media.
The cross-examination of the complainant wrapped up earlier today.
Defence lawyer Susan Gray put to the complainant that her claim he assaulted her in a vehicle did not occur.
“He did strangle me, he did threaten to kill me,” the woman responded.
When asked why she didn’t take notes about the incident, the woman questioned whether Gray took notes about everything that happened in her life.
The complainant said the man had shown up at her address that evening uninvited after she blocked him online.
When he allegedly refused to leave, she said they went and spoke in the car.
Gray put to her that she had yelled at him, and in response the woman said “he would abuse me, and I would yell back”.
“I’m not proud of that, I would yell at him.”
Gray said on another occasion the woman had flown into a rage over the man refusing to unfollow a female friend on social media.
“This is absolutely incorrect,” the complainant said.
Gray alleged the woman had hit him during that incident.
She denied the allegation, saying it was “complete cap [a lie]”.
The complainant said he would abuse her but she would always be the one who apologised.
One of the assault charges specifies a drink bottle was used as a weapon and another charge cites him allegedly biting her.
The musician has also been charged with impeding her normal breathing by applying pressure to her throat. Threatening to kill and threatening to do grievous bodily harm charges were also laid.
Three of the charges were for crimes that allegedly occurred on Boxing Day 2023.
The assault charges where a weapon is not specified carry a maximum of two years' imprisonment, the two that include allegations of a weapon hold a maximum of five years in prison.
The charges for threatening to kill, threatening to do grievous bodily harm and impeding normal breathing each carry a maximum of five years' imprisonment.
Katie Harris is an Auckland-based journalist who covers social issues including sexual assault, workplace misconduct, media, crime and justice. She joined the Herald in 2020.
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