Nigel and Marjan Joyce died of cancer within seven days of each other. Nigel's brother and his wife have taken in their girls. Photo / Givealittle
Nigel and Marjan Joyce died of cancer within seven days of each other. Nigel's brother and his wife have taken in their girls. Photo / Givealittle
Christchurch couple Nigel and Marjan Joyce died of cancer within a week of each other earlier this year.
They left behind two young daughters aged four and eight.
Now, Nigel’s brother John and his wife Nikki have taken in the girls as their own.
A New Zealand family is slowly rebuilding their lives after two young girls lost both of their parents to cancer just a week apart.
Earlier this year, Christchurch couple Nigel and Marjan Joyce died from brain and breast cancer respectively, leaving behind their two young girls, aged eight and four.
Five months on, Nigel’s older brother John and his wife Nikki have taken the girls in as their own, moving them up to their home in Auckland.
The pair are now full-time parents again, having been empty nesters after their own two boys moved away to university.
Nigel and Marjan Joyce died from brain cancer and breast cancer respectively, leaving behind two young girls, aged 8 and 4. Photo / Nikki Joyce
Early last year, Nigel was diagnosed with brain cancer. Shortly after that, Marjan was told she had triple-positive breast cancer.
Following surgery and six months of chemotherapy, Marjan was given the all-clear. She was able to get back to looking after her girls and focus on helping Nigel with his battle.
But by February this year, she started experiencing migraines, vision loss and back aches – symptoms doctors put down to stress.
“Nigel was dying at that point, we knew he wasn’t coming home so it was put down to that stress,” said Nikki.
By the end of April, Marjan was unable to get out of bed, prompting Nikki to take her to the hospital for further scans.
Marjan was then diagnosed with a rare complication called leptomeningeal cancer, where the disease spreads from its original site to the meninges (layers of tissues) surrounding the brain and spinal cord.
“It’s incredibly rare and it’s microscopic, at the time they just didn’t pick it up,” Nikki said.
In a devastating turn of events, both Nigel and Marjan were given mere weeks to live.
“The hospital staff were in tears at her bedside… all the doctors and nurses commented they were the loveliest patients,” said Nikki.
Throughout the process, neither Nigel nor Marjan became angry, Nikki said.
“These things always happen to the most kind of souls... Both Nigel and Marjan had hearts of gold.
“They were both such grateful people, always thanking us and the hospital staff for everything.”
On May 31, Nigel died with his family by his side. Seven days later, Marjan followed.
Nikki took on the task of telling the girls.
“They didn’t even know that their father was going to die. So I had to sit them down and tell them that both their parents would die.”
Nikki revealed she would not have been able to do it without help from hospital staff and the team at Kenzie’s Gift – a mental health support service for families dealing with illness or grief.
“I just wouldn’t have known where to start otherwise, they talked me through the whole thing.”
Christchurch woman Marjan Joyce died from breast cancer, leaving two young girls behind.
Their own two boys, who study at the University of Canterbury, had spent time looking after the girls while Marjan and Nigel were sick. Having got to know them already, Nikki said it was a “natural fit”.
Family flocked from overseas to pitch in and help when they died; surrounding the girls and helping Nikki and John make sense of it all.
“Marjan’s sister came over from Perth, so we were able to talk about how Marjan had grown up and what was important to her and her upbringing,” said Nikki.
The most important thing for them is keeping the memory of Nigel and Marjan alive.
“They did everything for their girls, they were the parents that just did it all, the girls were their life,” John said.
Angela Hawkins created a Givealittle when the girls’ parents were sick. It gained nearly $300,000. This allowed John and Nikki to give the girls the time they so desperately deserved.
Their story garnered global attention, with donations pouring in from New York, the UK and Australia.
They’ve since moved the girls up to Auckland, where they can be surrounded by more family, including their grandparents. Nikki said as much as everyone is still in the thick of the grieving process, the girls know they are loved and they are happy.
“They’re doing amazingly well... But they have these moments, those key times, on their birthdays or things like that, that trigger emotions,” said Nikki.
Marjan’s birthday was last month. When asked what their “mama” was doing up in heaven that day, one of the girls said, “She’ll be climbing up a rainbow and singing with the birds”.
Both Nikki and John said they see so much of Nigel and Marjan in the girls.
“We laugh all the time, when we see glimpses of Nigel, that cheekiness and a bit of stubbornness too,” said John.
“One of them is a very gentle soul, like her mum was a very gentle soul,” said Nikki.
The Joyce family is still grieving and growing into their new normal, but they want to thank everyone who donated and supported them.
“There’s so many thousands of people out there who donated and gave us these kind words and we just want to say it made a huge, huge difference,” said John.
Katie Oliver is a Christchurch-based Multimedia Journalist and breaking news reporter.
