KEY POINTS:
Cupid's mouse has gone into overdrive at online dating sites, which are reporting big surges in messaging in the New Year.
They say a renewed commitment to finding love traditionally kicks people into action in January.
Trade Me's Findsomeone.co.nz said messaging on the site is up 32 per
cent on December. That's an increase on 2007, when messaging increased 22 per cent. Total membership had topped 250,000 in the first week of the year, a first for the site.
Typically those looking for love online are 39, have some tertiary education, are non-smokers and are social drinkers.
Spokesman Mike O'Donnell said New Year resolutions for thirty- and forty-somethings drove the traffic.
"Basically people go to all those parties and they say to themselves, 'Well crikey, I'm 35 and I'm still single. I've got to get serious about this'."
He said the trend had registered every year for the last four.
Wellington's bad weather in the past week had probably also contributed to the busy period, Mr O'Donnell said.
Another service, MatchCompany, would not give any figures but said January was always the busiest month of the year.
Director Rosie Bowie said careers, longer hours and busier lives meant people in the middle of their lives didn't want to be mucked around. She said that is why dating services appealed.
Relationship coach Janice Davies said those in their late 30s had probably already had a failed long-term relationship. Online dating appealed because the risk involved was lessened, she said.
"It is true, once bitten twice shy.
"If we're rejected it doesn't hurt so much because there's many more out there ... We can jump on the internet and see what people look like, you talk to them on the telephone, you can email them 100 times so by the time you meet you know an awful lot about them. When both parties meet face to face they've decided that there is or isn't something about that other person."
More men than women are using dating sites, something that didn't surprise Mrs Davies.
"They're supposed to be the hunter/gatherers but society has changed and the guys are feeling very vulnerable. It's a safety thing."
AVOIDING THE HOOKS
One online dater, a 39-year-old single mother of two, said some men were there to hook up, rather than form friendships.
But that was the same as going to the pub, and once they were weeded out it was an amazing way to meet people.
She had been using online dating sites for six years, and about 18 months ago met her partner, 42, a father of three.
They took their time getting to know each other, exchanging emails and telephone calls for three months before realising they were falling in love.
"It was like the old wartime song - you got to know the person's heart."
LOOKING FOR LOVE
Mr or Ms Online Average is (or claims to be):
* 39 years old.
* Tertiary educated.
* A non-smoker.
* A social drinker.
