Jill Fallowfield hasn’t had an easy journey mothering two autistic children.
Her children have at times been lonely, isolated and left out because of the struggles they can have playing with their neurotypical peers.
Then Fallowfield discovered a programme that runs out of the Napier Family Centre. She and herfamily joined the Autistic Respite Community, which provides structured, meaningful holiday programmes.
It offers children an opportunity to explore their interests in safe, sensory-friendly environments.
“Our kids generally all struggle socially and there isn’t a lot available for them, so they find it really hard during social interactions and get-togethers with other kids,” Fallowfield said.
She said because everyday activities such as playground visits were made harder with autism, the group had changed their life.
“There is sensory overload, change, new people, lots of stuff and I hear parents say all the time ‘I wish I could take my kids to play with other kids and they would be accepted’.
“It has been amazing, they have formed friendships that they would have never had the opportunity to form before.”
Fallowfield said it took a long time to gain a diagnosis for 16-year-old daughter Issy and 10-year-old son Ike.
“When Issy was young, we were like ‘there is something different, not wrong, different’.”
She said Issy was shy and quiet with complex health needs, and the discovery of autism came as a relief as they were able to put measures in place to get help at school.
Later, when son Ike was growing up, they were told his behaviour was learned from his sister, but Fallowfield pushed for answers as she believed this wasn’t true.
“We were like ‘no, it’s completely different’.”
She said Ike was the more social sibling and he would hide and run off.
“Once we got his diagnosis I cried, I was so relieved, it was happy tears because we could finally get him the support he needed.”
Activities range from sessions at Omni Gym to art programmes with MIChalk, visits to the Hawkes Bay Farmyard Zoo in Haumoana, rock pooling at Westshore Beach and even music therapy sessions.
Each activity is carefully designed to meet the diverse needs of autistic children, allowing them to engage, learn and play at their own pace.
Co-founders of the Autistic Respite Community, Anne-Marie Perry-Smith and Miriam Brady, say they are proud of how far their idea has come in the three years since they started it.
Perry-Smith taught Brady’s autistic daughter Nina at kindergarten and the pair became firm friends over their shared passion to support children with autism.
The group initially started at a Girl Guide hut with a Lego set and two families and has since grown to over 20 families, who now meet at the Napier Family Centre.
Perry-Smith said the catch-ups were for the parents as much as the children.
“It is a safe place for these guys to come and to be able to chat without having to keep an eye on what’s going on.”
Brady also has 12-year-old Reuben, who she described as a gentle giant, and said both of her children were diagnosed with autism at age 3.
“Nina was a newborn when Reuben was diagnosed, so we were hyper-aware of how she might present but they present very differently,” Brady said.
She said the difference between the two could cause chaos on outings - for example, one ran for the ducks at Anderson Park while the other took off to the playground, leaving her stressed about their safety.
“So often we don’t get the opportunity to watch our kids just have fun and be themselves.”
The group currently have one donor, however, they would like to encourage more so they can continue doing activities with the children, and gain the capacity to take on more families.
Whether you want to donate, volunteer or get involved, you can reach out by emailing kiaoraa.r.c@gmail.com.
Michaela Gower joined Hawke’s Bay Today in 2023 and is based out of the Hastings newsroom. She covers Dannevirke and Hawke’s Bay news and loves sharing stories about farming and rural communities.