Carpenter told the Herald she was “traumatised” after hearing the doctor’s comment, and that for days after she experienced shock and confusion “because of the implications of it”.
“I was shaking . . . psychologically I was trying to process what that meant.”
Carpenter remembers having a dream where she and her partner were trying to use the resuscitation machine on her baby themselves.
“It was pretty traumatic,” she said.
The birth itself was dramatic and complicated, with Carpenter pushing for a c-section and her baby, Reuben, eventually being born vaginally anyway. It was then that the doctor failed to catch Reuben, who fell to the floor and landed on the midwife’s shoe.
It has taken years for the complaint to be properly investigated, and Carpenter was surprised to find the commissioner ruled in her favour. The doctor’s comment was found to be inappropriate and unethical.
But Carpenter said it was just one of many comments she received throughout her pregnancy.
She and her partner decided to get a test during pregnancy to find out the likelihood of Reuben being born with Down syndrome, so they could be prepared if he was. After getting the test results, she got comments “all the time” about whether she wanted to continue the pregnancy.
“We were so weird because we knew and we wanted to keep him.”
She even had an “insensitive” comment from her GP, saying “you don’t have to do this you know, this is going to define your life”.
There were no indications Reuben’s body had any physical abnormalities. Now 6, he is attending school and can read and talk.
Te Whatu Ora has been contacted for comment.
Melissa Nightingale is a Wellington-based reporter who covers crime, justice and news in the capital. She joined the Herald in 2016 and has worked as a journalist for 10 years.
