While the man stood in the doorway, the woman told her daughter to "shoot him for the things that he had done to her".
The man then adjusted the firearm and gave it back to the girl, before the woman again told the girl to shoot him, but she refused. The woman also told the girl that she would be given away to another family.
"Not surprisingly, your daughter became very upset ... and cried all the while, saying she did not want to shoot your partner," said Judge Hobbs.
"Your actions on that day are incomprehensible ... not to mention potentially dangerous to all concerned."
He said the woman had realised she had done the wrong thing.
She was sentenced to 150 hours' community work and nine months' supervision, with conditions to undertake counselling.
The girl is now staying with other family.
The woman's partner is also facing charges.