Minister’s acid wit burns opponents

Michael Cullen

It has become a practice for Labour deputy leader Michael Cullen to end his party's annual conference with a speech attacking his opponents with acerbic wit, as he did again yesterday:

On National leader Don Brash:

The official biography of Dr Brash portrays a seriously strange and out-of-touch person.

From the old pyjamas to the vacuuming of the concrete floor to the frozen corned beef and the whole air of slightly deranged hermetic retreat from the real world, this is the oddest politician we have had on offer in New Zealand for a long time.

In the end he appears to be a cross between Mr Magoo and Dr Strangelove. One can almost see him riding the nuclear bomb down to the ground yelling, "Gone by lunchtime!".

Dr Brash has spent the last 18 months pretending to be a different person from the one he has so publicly been for so long.

In fact the Emperor has no new clothes - only that old pair of pyjamas. And he does not feel comfortable in them.

On Act leader Rodney Hide:

At least with Mr Hide, there is no Dr Jekyll. What you see is unfortunately what you get, all the time.

On National deputy Gerry Brownlee:

National's Maori Affairs spokesman is Gerry Brownlee, whose attitude to Maori is if you push them all downstairs, a lucky few might stop near the top. On former leader Bill English Dr Brash does not command the unified support of his caucus. Like a prematurely aged boxer, Mr English is clearly in training for a rematch - but wisely delaying until after the election.

On New Zealand First:

National and New Zealand First have a toxic relationship. New Zealand First commits the unforgivable sin of having a leader - and National commits the unforgivable sin of not worshipping him.

On coalition prospects:

Perhaps National can turn to the Maori Party. Both hark back to an ideal past that never existed - they just differ over what it was. In one there were no Maori; in the other there were no Pakeha.