Has Auckland Council got a sideline making those orange cones? Photo / Jason Oxenham
Has Auckland Council got a sideline making those orange cones? Photo / Jason Oxenham
COMMENT
Traffic panic! Auckland's CBD is a war zone.
The rail link, Americas Cup prep, upgrades and private construction have bought a record number of road cones, annoying fences and rectangular holes to the city. I've experienced Uber drivers, dairy owners and whole barbecues spitting tacks about it.
Impressivelythese people were still angry at the weekend. Then there is the media. This is the 1000th angry column on the subject this week alone.
Luckily there's a way through. A way to relax in the face of road cones. Just think negatively about the situation and you'll be fine.
A good place to start is your death. You'll be gone one day. Maybe even tomorrow. Every commute could be your last. So enjoy it.
When faced with vehicular setbacks, simply imagine how things could be worse. For example. If you find yourself held up in traffic look at your hands on the steering wheel. Imagine not having hands.
If you already don't have hands, then imagine not having legs. If you have neither hands nor legs, imagine you're blind and deaf as well. You get the point. No matter what, things could always be worse. It sure puts the pain of a detour in perspective.
Of course, if you don't have arms, legs, vision or hearing consider pulling over before you kill yourself or someone else.
Negative visualisation was a powerful mental tool of the ancient Stoics. By thinking about all that could go wrong you appreciate what you have.
Epictetus put it this way. 'Hold death and all that seems dreadful before your eyes every day: and you will never think of anything bad'.
Epictetus was born a slave at Phrygia 50 AD. Next time you're stressed by some roadworks picture yourself nude, sweaty and chained up in the sun digging those holes. Unless of course, you're into that kind of thing. In which case imagine something that doesn't turn you on.
Most modern people have been indoctrinated with positive visualisation. The idea that if you picture what you want. You will miraculously get it. More and more this is being seen as a recipe for misery.
As mentalist and stoic Derren Brown puts it: "The ancients had a much better view. They offered an approach of not trying to control things you can't, and of lessening your desires and your expectations so you achieve a harmony between what you desire and what you have."
Negative visualisation has many uses in life. Take craving. Once we humans get what we desire our minds will always find something else to crave. You think the new iPhone 11 pro 6.8-inch screen will make you happy. You get it. A small spritz of dopamine in your nucleus accumbens and it's over.
The phone becomes the new normal and you want something else. Human's are cursed to ever desire the next thing. Never to be satisfied with what they have or where they are. Unless of course, we imagine the worst and in comparison appreciate what we have. Want a new phone? Imagine having no phone at all. Landline days. Then you might look at your 18-month-old device in a more appreciative way.
You can positively visualise not being stuck in traffic all you want. It won't move the bus in front of you. You don't have mind bullets like 'The Secret' would have you believe. There are many things you can't control. You can, however, control your reactions. You can use perspective to control anger and frustration. To enjoy where you are.
If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.
Why arrive at work stressed about traffic you can't control? Why continue that anger into the weekend and round the BBQ? When you can instead enjoy your sweet time alone in your pleasant air-conditioned car.
Proof of a well-ordered mind is a man's ability to stop where he is and pass some time in his own company.
Surely this kind of thinking will turn you into a loser. Not at all. We tend to succeed in life and career when we focus on where we are and what we are doing. Not what we currently want and what we can't control. Seneca was the richest man in Rome. He got there by imagining the worst and living in the present.
It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves too much, that is poor.
So how are we going to deal with these punishing Auckland road works? Easy. Think negatively. The orange cones may be everywhere, but at least you're not dying from the coronavirus. Yet.
