Matt Heath: Kids, cricket and hitting racism for six

The One-day international match between NZ and South Africa at the Bay Oval in Tauranga. Photo / Getty Images

If you describe Ghostbuster figures by colour, is it cricket?

On Friday I attended a one-day international between the Black Caps and South Africa at the Bay Oval in Tauranga. I was lucky enough to be calling the game with The Alternative Commentary Collective. It's a beautiful new cricket venue with the Mount sitting majestically in the background.

At the gates I noticed a bunch of ICC signs reminding the crowd not to be racist. I would hope most people in New Zealand know they shouldn't be racist.

Even racists in 2014 know they shouldn't be racist. But the International Cricket Council has made it one of its priorities to stamp it out at games. So, rightly, grounds are asked to impose severe punishments for indiscretions.

It got me thinking about how little of that kind of behaviour I see these days. None of my friends is racist. In fact the only racist I know is my 5-year-old son. Last week we were getting some cheesy mite scrolls from Baker's Delight. My boy stood in the middle of the shop staring at the man behind the counter. He thought long and hard and then yelled "I don't like that guy's skin, Dad, it's too chocolatey". The comment hung in the room like a bad smell. There was no way to gloss it over. I apologised, grabbed the scrolls and ran.

In the car I explained "son, the colour of someone's skin isn't important, it's what's inside that counts". To his credit he agreed. For him it was a decor matter. In his opinion the man's skin didn't work with the other colours in the shop. It was too similar to the bread behind him.

I asked if he would be okay with the man working in a paint shop with lots of different colours. He had no problem with that. I asked if he would support a pale-faced person working with milk. He said no.

I'm not sure what race my sons are. From me they get a lot of Scottish and from their mum a lot of Maori. His brother is brownish in colour while the little one popped out a sniff paler. On the surface it would seem he also popped out a sniff prejudiced.

Or has he?

A few days later a dwarf walked past us in a hospital corridor. Less than a metre from the man, my boy yelled "look, a Muppet made out of skin". Once again we had no choice but to cut our losses and run.

You can't go through life yelling things like that at people. However, people do look different from each other. My boy didn't think less of the dwarf, he just noticed he was smaller than some. Place me beside Alex Pledger and Steve Adams and I would be the "Muppet made out of skin". Is it bad to notice someone is different? No. Should you loudly point it out? Probably not.

My 7-year-old son recently built the new limited edition 30th anniversary Lego Ghostbusters ECTO-1 set. My 5-year-old asked him to pass the dark brown Ghostbuster figurine. My oldest screamed "racist". I told them it's not racist to mention that someone is dark brown. There are three Ghostbusters that are one colour and one that is another colour. Noticing that isn't racist. How else should you ask for that specific ghostbuster?

Chaz answered "Ask for Winston? His name is Winston", which is a pretty good point. But my 5-year-old countered "how can I be racist if my favourite one is the dark brown one?" Also a good point.

Auckland is a truly multicultural city. Some have chocolate faces, some have milky faces, some have milky faces with lots of dots on them, some are really short, some are really tall. I reckon my boy is just looking for ways to describe them.

The most important thing for me is getting him to be quiet about it. We have the ICC World Cup here next year and I don't want my 5-year-old getting us kicked out of games.