Matt Heath: Christmas songs that aren’t really Christmas songs

Sleighing songs were considered risque at the time because unmarried men and women were able to spend time sliding around unchaperoned in distant woods on sleighs. Photo / Getty Images

At this time of the year, as Kiwis blast the yuletide sounds of Micheal Buble all over the shop, it may come as a shock to learn that some Christmas songs aren’t Christmas songs. Jingle Bells isn’t. Neither is Baby It’s Cold Outside, Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! or Winter Wonderland.

None of them mention the core Christmas themes as I see them. No Santa, no presents, Christmas trees, elves, reindeer, baby Jesus, mistletoe or even the big day itself.

Jingle Bells has a particularly interesting history. It was written by a former Confederate soldier, gold digger and whaler named James Lord Pierpont and was first performed as part of a black and white minstrel show. Jingle Bells was never meant for Christmas.

Pierpont wrote it in 1850 on the piano at the Simpson Tavern in Medford, Massachusetts, as a drinking song. It wasn’t realised on sheet music until seven years later, at which time it was called “The One-Horse Open Sleigh”.

Apparently, sleighing songs were very popular at the time. Everyone was singing about sleighs. Pierpont ripped off a bunch of popular sleighing songs that were doing the rounds, threw them all together, grabbed words from other tunes and got himself a huge hit.

Jingle Bells has a particularly interesting history. Photo / 123rf

Sleighing songs were considered risque at the time because unmarried men and women were able to spend time sliding around unchaperoned in distant woods on sleighs. These songs inferred a little bit of late-night sexual activity. Hence the words “Go it while you’re young Take the girls tonight Sing this sleighing song”. The term “upsot” in the original lyrics had a double meaning that was considered humorous in some sexual way.

Jingle Bells didn’t become associated with Christmas until about 20 years after it was written. Then, 50 years after Peirpont’s death, it became a global phenomenon when Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters released their version.

It is now considered one of the most well-known American compositions of all time and, despite having nothing to do with this time of year, a Christmas staple.

In 2011, Michael Bublé added the line “Merry Christmas ladies” to his version on his 16 million-selling album Christmas. So arguably, that recording is a Christmas song.

Of course, Bublé isn’t the only one to add lyrics. Most New Zealanders will be familiar with the “Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg, Wonder Woman lost her bosom halfway down the stairs” version. Others include the line, “The Batmobile lost its wheel and the Joker got away” or “Robin ran away, he lost his pants down in France and found them in Bombay”.

Baby It’s Cold Outside is not a Christmas song. It was written by Frank Loesser in 1944 as a joke to be performed with his wife Lynn Garland at their housewarming in New York. They practised it together and then sang it when it was time for guests to leave. It went down very well, and they were suddenly being invited to every party in town to sing it. Word of the song spread to Hollywood and, in 1948, MGM bought the tune for the romantic comedy Neptune’s Daughter.

It became a global hit and won the Academy Award for best original song. In recent years, it has become controversial due to the slightly pesty nature of the lyrics. In 2018, it was banned by several North American stations in a move that is now widely cited as an extreme example of cancel culture in action. Through all this, the song has never been a Christmas song.

Likewise, Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! and Winter Wonderland are weather-based songs with less exciting histories.

So it would seem many of the songs we sing at Christmas, such as the “Batman smells” song and the “What’s in this drink?” song, aren’t Christmas songs at all. Which, of course, doesn’t matter – we can sing and listen to whatever we want whenever we want. For the record, the best Christmas song ever is Fairytale of New York by The Pogues. RIP Shane MacGowan (December 25, 1957 - November 30, 2023).

Merry Christmas and a happy New Year to all.