She didn’t bother to consult with me first so I’ve decided to reveal a few of her embarrassing moments. There was the day she queried the mayor’s maths, thinking she had done it under her breath. She hadn’t, the mayor heard her and corrected his statement. That woman really does need a paw in her mouth at times.
She was acting suspiciously walking along Alfred St one day noting the missing street numbers when a resident came out her front door. The editor announced she wasn’t doing anything dodgy even though it looked like it. The resident said “It’s all right, I know who you are. You’re Judith Lacy.”
Quelle horror, one of the editor’s worst moments came courtesy of a fellow animal when a deer ripped some pages out of her notebook and started eating them. Of course, the missing pages related to the interview she was doing and she had to redo some of it.
Then there was the BA5 event when she kept her coat on the whole time plus a most unstylish hat, despite the ambient temperature. She told inquiries she was in disguise but really she hadn’t washed her hair that day as she was on a deadline and had spilt something down the front of her dress. Honestly, I do try to keep this woman from leaving the house.
She told me later she had planned to come home and sort herself out before the event but got engrossed in a story.
There are photos of this get-up but I’ve accepted a lifetime’s supply of Temptations in return for not publishing them.
For the record, here are the comments I’ve received since people heard I’m out of a job.
“We will be sorry to see Maysie go.”
“How will we go on without Maysie?”
“Hope you have a new role for Maysie.”
“Does this mean your PA Maysie has to find a new job too?”
“Please pat your feline editor-in-chief for me.”
I’m pleased to announce I too have a new job - consultant to copper class. As you can tell I’m a fan of fine (f)alliteration.
My servant is returning to teaching and her class will be called copper. As I’m copper-coloured I have appointed myself her consultant.
I’m sure her students will spend several hours each day talking and writing about me as I’m so fascinating.
I’m looking forward to the attention but most of all I’m looking forward to my servant being home more and working less.
She says she won’t have to read so much for work anymore so that better mean more time to stroke me and hold me.
I am concerned though that before she goes to sleep she recites “hat, het, hit, hot, hut” practising her short vowels.
The editor has asked me to pass on her heartful thanks to everyone who has contributed to the Manawatū Guardian during her tenure - whether writing a column, suggesting a story idea, agreeing to share their story or providing feedback. And of course for reading.
We will see you around the paradise that is Palmy.
