“Whether this was for pleasure or to conceive a child remains a point of disagreement but the fact is that the parties were in this arrangement at the time of conception,” Family Court Judge Traicee McKenzie said in her ruling.
“Once the parties separated, the relationships soured and this application was made.”
Despite not being the girls’ biological father they took his surname and his name went on their birth certificate, which he has more recently decided he wanted removed. The couple separated roughly two years ago but were officially divorced only three months ago.
The mother of the twins, who are now in their teens, told the court that her now ex-husband had been involved in their lives from the outset and had holidayed with them, bought them presents and they even had his surname and called him “Dad”. He even included them in his 2020 will as discretionary beneficiaries where they were referred to as “my children”.
She did however acknowledge that he was not a “hands-on” father and asked Judge McKenzie to consider his motivations for seeking a non-paternity order after so many years.
It was her submission that he was seeking the order to remove any child support obligations and remove any right the twins might have to bring a family protection claim against him.
In his submissions to the court the man claims the twins almost always called him by his first name, they holidayed together once, he never bought them presents and he immediately distanced himself from them after the separation.
Judge McKenzie said she could make a ruling of non-paternity if she was satisfied that no relationship existed between the man and the twins.
In her ruling she said that the man had sought no contact with his children and they hadn’t reached out to him.
“I must take into account his rigid, consistent and immoveable views from the date of separation that he rejected any form of relationship with the girls or that the girls were his own biological children,” Judge McKenzie said.
“He has made it clear from the outset that he wants no relationship with them.”
Judge McKenzie said the girls appeared to be part of the family by virtue of their mother only and they had not given evidence or chosen to elaborate further on the father-daughter relationship.
“There was no evidence in any detail of the nature of that relationship. No evidence of any expression of love or affection between them that would have been expected between a father and his daughter. There were no photos of shared experiences between them, holidays, special events and special moments,” Judge McKenzie said.
“They were children who lived in his house.”
Judge McKenzie ruled that they were not the man’s biological children and awarded a non-paternity order in his favour. With the recent court order his name has been removed from the twins’ birth certificates.
The man told NZME he commenced the non-paternity application to “defend his honour”.
“I am not a family man,” he said.
He said he barely participated in the threesomes and primarily “just watched”. He said his wife assured him that she and other man were “safe”, by which he took to mean they had some kind of birth control.
As for why he didn’t raise the issue until three years ago the man said that “what’s done is done” and he led a pretty “unconventional” home life and had lived in a separate part of the house from his wife, their adopted children and the twins since 2018.
“I don’t expect you or anyone to understand,” he said, “But I was happy with my life.”
“I have no sexual prudence. I am sexually free.”
Jeremy Wilkinson is an Open Justice reporter based in Manawatū covering courts and justice issues with an interest in tribunals. He has been a journalist for nearly a decade and has worked for NZME since 2022.
