Making the grade: Teens need sexual consent education in schools, say campaigners

Genna Hawkins-Boulton, co-founder of Let's Talk Consent, about why it's important that schools teach sexual consent. Photo / Dean Purcell.

New Zealand schools focus on enabling students to gain qualifications but are young people leaving school with the skills they need to succeed in life? As part of our Making the Grade series, education reporter Amy Wiggins explores whether schools could do more to teach students about healthy relationships.

Being taught about consent at school could have changed Genna Hawkins-Boulton’s life.

The 25-year-old Auckland woman was sexually assaulted by someone she knew in her early 20s.

“In the moment I knew it was bad and I knew the relationship wasn’t healthy. I think throughout that period of time it was really hard to set boundaries.

“I felt myself consistently saying no and, I guess, feeling coerced.”

Neither she nor the man involved had any education about consent and it was not until the Teach Us Consent campaign took off in Australia in early 2021 that she realised that what had happened was sexual assault.

“I had seen all the stories that were shown and along with those stories was a description of the term coercion and what assault can look like. In it was a description about when you can and when you can’t give consent,” Hawkins-Boulton said,

“I had that moment of realisation where I knew what it was that had happened to me and I was able to have that language to put it into words rather than just a feeling.”

She said that was a “really healing moment” for her and helped her start to accept what had happened.

Hawkins-Boulton said the Teach Us Consent campaign, which has resulted in consent education becoming mandatory in all Australian schools from this year, also spoke about how many young men did not realise what they were doing was wrong because of that lack of education.

“They don’t know what they’re doing is assault, which is really related to my experience,” she said.

“Then, as I was being a bit more open about what happened, I came across so many other people who have experienced the exact same situation.”

Her frustration and anger about the issue prompted her to find out just how much of an issue it was.

‘It was very clear there was a national lack of consistency’

A year ago she put a call out on Instagram for experiences around consent education and stories of sexual harm - within two weeks she had 300.

“It was very clear across the testimonies that there was a national lack of consistency around how consent is taught and an overall lack of understanding of how to recognise instances of sexual harm,” said Hawkins-Boulton.

Among the testimonies was a woman who recounted a party she went to when she was 15.

She decided to sleep until her friend was ready to leave but while she was sleeping a teenage boy tried to put his hands down her pants.

She quickly removed his hands saying, “no, go away. I’m trying to sleep”.

The boy was not deterred and continued to put his hands down her pants with more force until he was able to insert his fingers in her.

“That was my first ever sexual experience,” she recounted. “He took it away from me.”

Hawkins-Boulton said some schools taught consent really well as part of sexuality education, while other schools focused on other parts of the subject.

It was that realisation that prompted her and Auckland University students Jasmine Gray and Laura Porteous to set up Let’s Talk Consent.

“We know what happens when students don’t get this. We know that sexual violence is endemic within young people,” Hawkins-Boulton said.

“We need to start focusing on what can happen in the education sector to ensure we are actively creating an environment where students can feel safe.”

The group has already spoken to a number of MPs and set up a petition calling on the Government to follow Australia’s lead and make age-appropriate consent education compulsory in schools from Years 1-13.

In response to Herald inquiries, the Ministry of Education has also said compulsory consent education is one possible outcome of its current refresh of the school curriculum.

Genna Hawkins-Boulton, co-founder of Let's Talk Consent. Photo / Dean Purcell.

A 2018 Education Review Office report on sexuality education in schools backed up what young people had told Hawkins-Boulton.

The review found that curriculum coverage remained inconsistent, with some schools not even meeting minimum standards of compliance.

Among those that were meeting the minimum standards, many had significant gaps in curriculum coverage, the report said.

“Although biological aspects of sexuality and puberty are well covered, more in-depth coverage is needed for aspects like consent, digital technologies and relationships. Sexual violence and pornography were covered in fewer than half of the secondary schools ERO visited,” it read.

Sexuality and consent education was more important than ever because internet-connected smartphones and social media meant young people were now exposed to sexual content earlier.

“Without the knowledge and skills to navigate this context, young people are at risk of developing unhealthy attitudes toward sexuality, increasing risks to mental and physical wellbeing for themselves and others,” the ERO report said.

The report cited the Roast Busters case - which involved a gang of West Auckland teenage boys who boasted on social media about having sex with drunk and underage girls - and stories from the #MeToo movement.

It said these examples showed the risks young people faced when a healthy understanding of consent was not widely held and the increasing demand for education to address the issue.

NZ Health Educators Association executive member Jenny Robertson said anecdotal evidence supported the belief relationship and sexuality education was inconsistently taught around the country.

She believed the focus needed to be on healthy relationships, of which, consent was one aspect.

As for mandating consent education, Robertson suspected it would make little difference to how effectively it was taught and simply become another box-ticking exercise for schools.

Improving consent education was the same as improving the quality of any subject, she said.

“It all comes down to having highly qualified expert teachers and dedicated timetable time to do it.”

‘Pornography rarely depicts meaningful consent’

Pornography, which is becoming increasingly prevalent and easy to access, has also been added to the curriculum because of its portrayal of consent as well as the mental health and relationship issues that could come from viewing it.

Research suggested many young people in New Zealand were learning about sex through pornography which was creating unhealthy views and leading young people to engage in physically and emotionally risky behaviours, the 2018 ERO report said.

Young people need to be aware of the importance of consent in healthy relationships. Photo / 123rf

“It is therefore of some concern that ERO found pornography was one of the least well-covered aspects of sexuality education.

“Pornography rarely depicts meaningful consent, and often includes coercion and/or violence, particularly towards girls and women, as a normal part of sexual encounters.”

Hawkins-Boulton agreed it was a topic that needed to be addressed in relationships and sexuality education.

“It’s definitely romanticising and glorifying violence around violating consent and making that seem pleasurable when it’s not. It’s really unhealthy and it’s dangerous to be portraying this.”

Robertson said research suggested pornography was changing expectations around issues like body image, performance and the need for consent.

“It’s the fact that the boys even think they can ask to do some of that stuff or don’t have to ask.

“While I would like to think some girls at least are savvy enough, it’s the fact that pornography put this non-consensual option out there that the girls even have to respond to in the first place.”

Some studies have also found an association between high pornography usage and poor mental health including depression, less social integration and more delinquent behaviour.

Why is there such variation between schools?

Relationships and sexuality education is a mandatory part of the school curriculum from Year 1 to 10 but schools have the flexibility to make their own decisions about how it is taught, guided by the national curriculum.

The same is true of all subjects taught at school with teachers essentially expected to interpret curriculum requirements for themselves.

The lack of specificity in the curriculum has led to widespread criticism around a lack of consistency in the education students are receiving between schools and even between classrooms.

Unique to health education is the requirement that school boards must consult with their community about how and what they will teach as part of the health curriculum, including relationships and sexuality education, at least every two years.

If parents have concerns about what is to be taught, they are able to write to the principal and request their child is excluded from part or all relationships and sexuality education.

ERO’s 2018 report found that in some cases the beliefs of the school community played a large part in what was or was not taught.

“In a few schools, real or perceived community opposition to sexuality education for religious or cultural reasons has meant schools provided inadequate sexuality education programmes that did not address important aspects of the curriculum,” it said.

“These barriers and challenges led to variability in practice across schools.”

Teachers say not enough time is allocated to relationships and sexuality education during the school year. Photo / Stephen McNicholl

In 2017 the Education and Workforce Committee considered a petition about sexuality education by Victoria University student Lauren Jack which sought to make consent a compulsory part of the curriculum.

In the final select committee report it noted: “The ministry also broadly agreed with the petitioner in attributing the inconsistency to the broad discretion given to schools and parents about sex education.

“The Education Act 1989 requires that schools formulate their own local health curriculum, and consult with the local community before it is finalised.

“This allows communities to decide what and how young people are taught about sex, in the hope that this will better engage communities to support what is taught in schools.”

The 2022 New Zealand Secondary School Teachers’ Perspectives on Teaching Relationships and Sexuality Education report also highlighted the role of the community in determining what was taught.

“A number of teachers discussed challenges related to community consultation, and some noted potential or real concerns about parent and community opposition to aspects of RSE,” it said.

The report said it appeared concerns were generally about the teaching of gender issues, as opposed to consent.

Time and teacher confidence an issue

ERO has recommended at least 12-15 hours a year should be spent on relationships and sexuality education but the 2022 Teachers’ Perspectives report said it appeared most schools were providing less than that.

Asked about barriers and enablers to teaching relationships and sexuality education, timetabled time for the subject was the biggest issue, with 80 per cent of teachers in the survey saying it was a barrier.

The Teachers’ Perspectives report also found the majority of secondary teachers in the survey said sexual violence, digital and cyber safety in sexual situations, drug and alcohol use as they relate to sex and modern developments in HIV were less commonly covered.

Reasons given included lack of time and whether topics were deemed suitable or relevant to Year 9 and 10 students.

Almost half of the teachers said relationships and sexuality education was not incorporated at their school after Year 10 unless students chose to take health as a subject, meaning most students would miss out on learning about topics not covered in the junior years.

Teacher confidence was also highlighted as an issue in the study. Only 73 per cent of teachers who responded said they were confident in teaching all aspects of the subject.

Pornography, sexual violence and modern developments in HIV were the areas teachers reported being least confident in teaching.

Secondary Principals’ Association president Vaughan Couillault said the community also had a part to play in teaching young people about healthy relationships. Photo / Dean Purcell

Secondary Principals’ Association of New Zealand president Vaughan Couillault said students at his school would get the recommended 12-15 hours of relationships and sexuality education in a year out of a total of 20-40 hours of health education.

“I do believe that the community has a role in this as well because, if you’re talking about 12 to 15 hours on relationship education in a year, there’s a lot of hours in a year and a lot of time when young people, who are learning how to behave from the significant adults they see around them, can learn how to behave from those significant adults,” he said.

“Because of the amount of stuff that schools are being asked to cover that isn’t standard old reading, writing and mathematics, you can’t necessarily afford everything the attention you might otherwise want it to get.

“So, if we were to increase that coverage from 15 hours to 40 hours in a year, which you might find quite sensible, that would be at the expense of something else that everyone also finds quite sensible.

“You’ve got to divide those little units of time up in a way that maximizes coverage across a fairly broad curriculum.”

As for teachers lacking confidence in teaching part of the curriculum, he said, as in any subject, they would look at providing some professional learning and development.

‘A strengthened focus on consensual, healthy and respectful relationships’

A new set of guidelines for the teaching of the subject were formulated and released in 2020 in response to the 2017 ERO report which noted health curriculum guidance would benefit from more information around issues such as consent, the use of digital technologies, and healthy relationships, Ministry of Education curriculum centre leader Ellen MacGregor-Reid said.

“This guidance includes a strengthened focus on consensual, healthy and respectful relationships. While this guidance is not mandatory, it is considered best practice guidance and all schools are expected to be using it,” she said.

In those guidelines, learning about consent starts in primary school in the context of playing at the playground or visiting the doctor and is discussed in terms of intimate relationships throughout secondary school.

Ministry of Education curriculum centre leader Ellen MacGregor-Reid says the ministry will consider whether consent education is made mandatory when it refreshes the health and physical education curriculum. Photo / Supplied

MacGregor-Reid said the health and physical education curriculum refresh would take place next year as part of the overall curriculum refresh and would “give us the opportunity to ensure that learning around healthy and respectful relationships is integrated across all the learning areas of the curriculum.”

“Through the refresh there will be an opportunity to explore strengthening the focus on healthy relationships, including the question of whether consent education should be mandated,” she said.

She said the ministry had developed a range of resources to help schools teach the subject and curriculum leads with a focus on well-being, who were based in all regional offices, were available to help schools develop their relationships and sexuality curriculum.

Couillault said he had not experienced any inconsistency in the teaching of consent or relationships and sexuality education in the schools he had been a part of but acknowledged that in more isolated areas or special character schools which held to religious beliefs, some aspects may not be covered well.

“We’ve got healthy relationship stuff that happens all through our health curriculum that’s compulsory at Year 9 and 10, and a little bit more optional in Year 11, 12 and 13,” he said.

“It really does fall within the realm of physical education and health. Those people are normally fairly skilled practitioners, they use the subject association to get that consistency across. If a school hasn’t got the experience on-site, they tend to use well-respected or approved providers from outside,” he said.

“Most places that I’ve had anything to do with want their kids to be healthy, want their kids to be respectful, want their kids to know the difference between right and wrong.”

Couillault said his specialist teachers would be aware of the new guidelines put out by the Ministry but would already be getting direction from their subject associations.

The guidelines and Ministry of Education curriculum leads were likely to be more helpful in primary schools where teachers were often less specialised, he said.

Couillault said schools did already take a cross-curricular approach where possible so relationships and sexuality would come up in social sciences and sometimes in the texts or films studied in English.

Amy Wiggins is an Auckland-based reporter who covers education. She joined the Herald in 2017 and has worked as a journalist for 12 years.

Sexual Harm