Love lost for Wairarapa divorcees

Dozens of Wairarapa couples lucked out in the search for long-lasting love last year.

Latest figures from Stats NZ showed of the 8785 divorces registered nationwide during 2012, 66 were recorded in Masterton District Court.

Those most likely to call it quits had been married between five and nine years - with nearly 25 per cent of last year's divorces featuring marriages of this length.

Romance sceptics may point to theories around "itchy feet". But couples who have made it successfully over the decade bump know disagreements and relationship woes are all part and parcel of lasting true love.

While some relationships turn sour, others are just blossoming.

Wairarapa celebrant Barry Sims said many people were finding love and getting hitched later in life.

"They [young couples] are entering into their 30s now before getting married, where it used to be early 20s."

Newly-weds were also more likely to have a steady financial set-up before tying the knot, he said.

"Young couples today - in most cases they are both working [and] their income levels are much higher," compared to 30 years ago. Relationship expert and psychotherapist Chris Wood says all relationships encounter challenges.

"There's a big myth in our culture that if you're struggling in your relationship you're with the wrong person.

"Relationships have particular stages and people don't really understand." Everyone felt great at the beginning "honeymoon stage", she said.

"Some of that is because we've got a wonderful cocktail of chemicals in our brain that makes us feel very good.

"The job of those cocktails is actually to bond us together with somebody," Ms Wood said.

Problems usually surfaced when couples moved on from this initial stage.

Serial daters were also more likely to be less satisfied in their relationships. "What I've heard is that the more relationships you have, the shorter [the honeymoon period] lasts," Ms Wood said.

Nationally, about 20,500 couples tied the knot last year, of which 175 were in Wairarapa. Those keen to take another chance on love made up about 31 per cent of last year's marriages, with 6307 couples registering a "remarriage".

Ms Wood said relationships needed constant attention.

Often "you get into an adult relationship and you think about what it should be giving to us, instead of thinking, 'What do I need to do to make this relationship work well'."

Being married may have kept a couple committed to one another - but it was not a silver bullet, she warned. APNZ

Marriage and divorce, 2012

175 couples tied the knot in Wairarapa last year, down from 202 in 2008

66 couples registered for divorce at Masterton District Court, down from 73 five years ago

20,521 marriages nationally, compared to 21,948 in 2008

8785 divorces took place, down from 9713 five years ago

13.67 years - the median duration of marriage ending in divorce

3822 divorces involved children

Source: Statistics New Zealand