Lost son joins Foreign Legion

Parents Michael Tolhurst and Marie Devoy. Photo / Doug Sherring

An "ordinary Auckland boy" who cut off contact with friends and family has stunned his parents by signing with the French Foreign Legion.

Lawyers Michael Tolhurst and Marie Devoy were "beside themselves" when 19-year-old Eamon Tolhurst disappeared and stopped using his bank account and Facebook.

After weeks of tears the couple listed him with police as a missing person. Interpol then contacted them to confirm his enlistment.

Eamon, second cousin of Dame Susan Devoy, has been given a new identity and it is thought he will not be allowed to contact his family during his five-year contract.

"If he had told us before he went I would have chopped up his passport and chained him to a post," said Marie.

"He can be single-minded and I'm hoping that will help him survive."

Michael says he has been through a rollercoaster of emotions.

"At first you hate the French for taking your child. Then there's a huge sense of loss, fear, pity for yourself but time heals."

Eamon, the youngest of five children in the Mt Eden family, hugged his mother goodbye before heading to Sydney with friends for New Year's Eve.

He texted on January 4, saying he was "off to France" after landing cheap airfares.

Marie didn't think anything of it because Eamon loved travelling. She thought he was enjoying a short break before starting a diploma in engineering.

But after a couple of weeks, the family became concerned about his lack of Facebook communication and a friend confirmed he had not touched his bank accounts in weeks.

Finally, said Marie, a friend of a friend of Eamon's told her: "I don't know if I should tell you this, but he said he was off to join the French Foreign Legion."

She and Michael dismissed the idea initially, but 48 hours later she rang her police detective brother for help.

The detective registered Eamon as a missing person and contacted Interpol but warned it could take some time to get a response from the legion.

For weeks the family waited, fearing Eamon was dead or trapped in a secretive military force they knew little about.

"I had this terrible foreboding and had to get through the days," said Marie.

"I would stand in the shower and cry, go running and cry. Everyone in the family was trying to be terribly brave. It was a pretty grim time."

On February 2, Interpol confirmed Eamon had joined the force voluntarily and would be out of contact for the duration of his five-year contract.

He had given the legion permission to inform relatives he was alive - unlike many recruits who choose to "disappear" under a new identity.

Marie believes her Catholic-schooled and good-natured son chose this life for adventure. When she first heard the news she cried, thankful he was alive. But then shed more tears over him being destined for some of the world's worst war zones.

She says Eamon's siblings, including his eldest sister Erin, a two-time competitor at the rowing world champs, are upset he didn't confide in them but all miss him.

Michael has researched the legion and was daunted to learn 39,000 soldiers have died, including 6000 in one battle.

He also read about a culture of bullying and violence and immense physical challenges.

"Some have said the upside is he will be drug-free, crime-free and tattoo-free and learn to speak French - and will come out with money in the bank and no student loan," says Michael.

The couple have had reassurance from a senior member of the NZ Army, who told them Eamon would be okay and extremely well-trained.

Eamon appears to be physically tough. He boxed under the tutelage of Danny Codling, winning eight and drawing one of his 10 fights.

During his schooldays at Sacred Heart College he was a mighty hooker nicknamed "Tank", despite a 68kg frame.

Maria thinks of Eamon as an "ordinary Auckland boy" but says he's mentally tough, too.

He worked with special needs children at Camp America and slept with homeless people in San Francisco after losing contact details for a friend.

French Foreign Legion
* The elite military unit is renowned for breaking individuals physically and psychologically - and recoding them to be fearsome fighters.
* It was specifically created in 1831 for foreign nationals who wished to serve in the French Army under French commanders.
* Recruits number about 7700, in nine regiments.
* Troops are engaged in Afghanistan, Chad, the Ivory Coast and Kosovo.
* People go there "to forget". They're stripped of passports, possessions and contact with the outside world.
* Recruits assume a new identity and can instruct the legion to refuse to confirm their service with relatives.
* A foreign legionnaire can ask for French citizenship after three years' service.