Long journey to a life of despair

By JOSIE CLARKE

Sarabjit Kaur's mother, Harbans Kaur, rocks gently and quietly weeps as her family do their best to comfort her.

Sitting cross-legged on the floor in a tiny, unfurnished flat in Otahuhu, she grieves for the loving daughter and mother who hated her life in New Zealand.

Gathered around Harbans Kaur in their new home, the family of 29-year-old Sarabjit Kaur said she and her husband, Baldev Singh, had a history of domestic difficulties during their six-year marriage.

Harbans Kaur and Sarabjit Kaur's 20-year-old sister, Kuljinder Kaur, lived with the couple and their three children - a 5-year-old girl, a 3-year-old boy and an 11-month-old son - in Onehunga.

The mother and sister are moving out of Baldev Singh's home because of the deaths.

Shortly before midnight last Wednesday night, Sarabjit Kaur ran from the house carrying her baby after she is believed to have argued with her husband.

Her sister followed her to the Mangere Bridge, begging her to come home and telling her, "Tomorrow will be better."

Kuljinder tried to grab her sister and pull her back from the ledge.

A number of passersby then saw Sarabjit Kaur jump from the bridge cradling her son.

She had just told her sister, "I'm sick of this life."

Her sister then also tried to throw herself into the sea, but witnesses who had run to the scene held her back.

A number of motorists had stopped on the bridge and saw the tragedy unfold.

Sarabjit's body was found almost immediately. Fishermen at the nearby Onehunga Wharf used a grappling hook to pull it in as it floated past.

Police began a fruitless search in the dark for her baby, using boats, the airport rescue hovercraft and the WestpacTrust rescue helicopter.

At 11.30 the next morning, in miserable weather, two policemen pulled Kamaljoit Singh's tiny body from the water about 150m from land.

They had been searching for an hour when the Eagle helicopter spotted the body.

They slowly motored back to the boat ramp at the wharf.

The only people waiting to greet them were a funeral director and two detectives.

Autopsies were carried out in the afternoon and the victims' names released after they were formally identified and overseas relatives notified.

Police said they were not looking for anyone else in connection with the deaths.

Kuljinder Kaur was in shock for the two days following the deaths, and would not speak.

Baldev Singh said yesterday that he was too upset to talk to the Herald. "My family is not very well. We've had enough.

"I lost my wife, I lost my son. It's not a good time for me. Leave us alone please."

Yesterday, Sarabjit Kaur's family described a caring mother whose love for children led her to a career as a primary school teacher in the village of Saila Khurd, in the Punjab.

She grew up in that same village, which has a population of 10,000.

Her death was a "terrible shock," they said.

"She became a teacher because she loved all children. She loved teaching," said her mother.

Sarabjit spoke English fluently.

In 1993, aged 22, she left India for New Zealand and an arranged marriage.

She had followed her best friend, also a teacher, whose New Zealand husband was a close friend of Baldev Singh.

Sarabjit's father died when she was 10 years old.

Her uncle, Majhail Singh, took over supporting the family and Sarabjit lived with him and his wife in Mazara Dangarean for five years while she was growing up.

Majhail Singh described Sarabjit as a "very kind, trusting" person who was deeply religious. "She never got upset or angry. She was a really nice person."

Sarabjit's family were too poor to provide her with a dowry when she married, but Majhail Singh paid for the couple's $20,000 wedding.

Once married, she would work 14-hour days in her husband's vegetable shop and takeaways in Manurewa.

In the evenings she would do housework and cooking and look after her children.

The family said she worked to make sure her children had everything they needed.

Sarabjit's brother, Harnek Singh, who also lives in Auckland, said he had felt lost since the tragedy.

"We're talking to police. We don't know what else we can do."

Their mother, Harbans Kaur, cut short a holiday home to India when family told her about the "accident."

They broke the news to her yesterday that her eldest daughter had jumped to her death.

She said she did not know where to go or who would help the family.

She felt lost in New Zealand because she could not speak English.

The case has been the talk of Auckland's Indian community. Radio Tarana's talkback lines have run hot with callers concerned that this is not an isolated case.

The station's managing director, Robert Khan, said the station was looking at putting in place some sort of counselling service for Indian women facing domestic problems associated with their culture or fitting into New Zealand society.

The station had the numbers of 150 women who had appealed to the station for assistance over cases of genuine domestic problems related to marriage.

Inquiry head Detective Inspector Gavin Jones said the matter was now before the coroner's court.

He is holding ongoing discussions with the family and said he would welcome any new information.

He said the matter involved three separate incidents - the death of the baby, the death of his mother, and background material - which "ran in tandem."

Mr Jones said the case was not easy for the police.

"It is a tragic set of circumstances that is very difficult and very sensitive."

The family said a service for Sarabjit Kaur is planned for Friday.